This morning in yoga and in the short meditation afterwards, I felt like this:
soft mothering pulse, vibration
at the mother root of belly being
we long to feel rocked as if we were infants
I long for that all embracing feeling
of being loved, touched with love
seen with love, heard with love.
we don't find it often in the grown-up world -
in the growing up years we may be hugged and held
but we were also scolded and scorned.
mom sang lullabies to us at bedtime
and she also swatted us away like flies.
she did rock me on her lap - I can still remember
being pushed off that lap and sent to the back seat of the car
on a long trip, station wagon full of kids.
mothers are not the endless source of loving
but that womb-rocking they do for nine months
is what we remember
this morning in shivasana, lying on my back
with knees up over a bolster
I just let go and breathed
and the mother-root energy pulsed
in the center of every outbreath and inbreath
and I felt rocked and held -
that hug we long for
is always there, but much quieter
than the noisy world in your office or kitchen.
it doesn't clamour to be felt
but the absence of that rooted-ness
is what scatters me
in a million directions.
I am a heat-seeking missile
when it comes to that Presence.
I want to zone-in, get close,
hum, purr, rock,
stillness in motion
rocking my child's heart
back to comfort and release,
back to Ahhhh....
can I live from that center?
Friday, October 30, 2015
Friday, October 09, 2015
When negative energy surrounds you, what do you do?
Having a shitty day? I am easily affected by bad weather, bad news and bad moods. Some days I swear the planets are lined up against me (Mercury retrograde anyone?). But I refuse to be own worst enemy. Especially with the fading light in fall, and the coming winter in the Northern Hemisphere, I need help to counter that bad soul-sucking negativity and fight my tendency to wallow in downright depressing thoughts.
Here are 8 powerful game changers that really work for me:
Stop: stop listening to the hate messages, whether from outside you or inside your own mind. Step Back. Remove yourself from the victim/target mode.
Feel: drop down into your solar plexus, put your hands on your belly. Now do a body scan, letting your attention go from the top of your head down to your feet, and breathe through any tension or tightness you find. Purposely send breath to those tight, frightened spaces. Either do a sitting forward bend, or roll over into standing rag doll, and just breathe long, deep breaths for a minute. Let your feelings bubble up and don’t be afraid to feel what you feel. You will survive!
Listen in: how do you feel now? Write down what is coming up for you – tears, anger, fears, relief? Let it out on paper.
Change the inner tape: notice the old messages you are hearing and where they come from. Is that your mother’s voice haranguing you? Your oldest brother, your Grade 10 English teacher telling you you’re not good enough? Too fat, too lazy, too loud, too whatever? See next point for rewriting the script.
Enlist help of Inner Coach or Best Friend for support: rewrite the script with the help of an Inner Coach that you imagine (a friendly, encouraging voice) or call up a real best friend. Counter every negative statement with a positive one. Critic: You never listen, you talk too much. Inner coach: When you are interested you listen closely.
Playlist: play some uplifting music. Music helps me shift into softness, self-compassion and wellness. Find your Lift me Up songs and play them, in your Iphone, on your stereo, on Spotify. Strong, Beautiful Woman by is a great example. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBI5B7DuVl0
I find Deva Premal’s yoga music very soothing too.
Move your body: if you still feel lousy, get up and shake it off, literally, shake your body all over for 5 minutes or go for a brisk walk. A change of pace, change of air, and physical movement will help bring you out of that blue funk.
Enlist the help of Mama Nature : sit at the roots of a tree and breathe your bad feelings down into the ground, into the tree, and breathe in the green healing energy of that Mama tree. Release, release, release and make room for new healing energy. It’s as close as the ground you walk on, the air you breathe. Do like a tree and breathe out the bad stuff.
Get Creative: pull out the crayons, felt tip pens, doodle or draw a mandala. (Just for the fun of it, release the perfectionista within and don’t judge the outcome, just enjoy the process). Move pen on paper and let the Joy of Colour lift your spirits. If that feels too daunting, browse some magazines, cut out some bright, colourful images, and make a collage. You can do this! 15 minutes, tops.
I hope these tips help you move that negative energy out, and some positive uplifting energy in! I know it works for me.