Recently I spoke on 50 Ways to Love Turning Fifty at a local library. Near the end, when
I opened up the discussion among the women present, it became clear that the
real subject was the fear of going crazy with pre-menopausal changes. Every
woman is different, of course, but many complain of unaccounted for mood swings, a strong
need to be alone, a serious lack of sleep, a libido so low it's scraping the
floor. There are a host of other emotional symptoms that come along with the hormonal changes.
Often, doctors don't seem to be aware that women need a heads up
– women don't only want to know if their estrogen or progesterone is high or
low. They want to know that they are not going crazy. They want to know that some
of this is normal, and may hit them in their 40's before they're even thinking
about menopause. (Average age is 51, but peri-menopause can start 7-10 years
before that).
If you have any overwhelming emotions or issues, it's definitely
worth talking to a health professional, whether it's naturopath, homeopath or an open-minded doctor, to find out how to mitigate the symptoms. Sometimes
the emotional rollercoaster is worse than any physical hot flashes etc. Sometimes,
seeing a therapist may be called for, to help clear away any emotional ‘stuff’
you've been sweeping under the carpet for too long.
Bottom line is this: take care of your self. Lighten your load,
let your family know when you need help, rest when you can, make yourself less
busy. It’s time to accept that there are major changes afoot, and you need to
assimilate all this 'stuff' coming up. Get away when you can, and most
importantly, talk to girlfriends who are open to talking about menopause.
There is a chapter in my book The
Tao of Turning Fifty about
the descent of Inanna, a wonderful ancient story about a woman being totally
stripped of all her powers in the underworld, then returning with new life. It
reminded me of my own menopausal journey, which in some ways was a journey into
the dark caverns of frozen emotions. There definitely is a return to the
surface, as you let go of the old stories and return with new understanding, new clarity and refreshed vigour. Don't
lose hope!
I hope this book will be a lantern in the darkness or a
guidepost to women who are experiencing turmoil and are not sure which way
is up. I can see now that some of the physical issues I was facing in my forties and fifties, the
bursitis, frozen shoulder and a broken leg - were physical manifestations of my
inner journey. Ways that I was 'allowed' to slow down, and receive
extra love and tender care. Ailments that forced me to treat myself with
kindness and compassion, instead of pushing on past my limits
So this is a reminder to you, if you are travelling through
mid-life and experiencing any turmoil, that you are not alone. Other women
have been there, are voyaging along with you. Please take good care of yourself. Don't put self-care off -- don't put
yourself last on the list. Your family, husband and children deserve the best
of you.
You are worthy and deserving of taking a creative break, of rest and good nutrition,
as well as healthy exercise. Get out our journal, or call up a friend, and talk
to someone today about how you feel.
Namaste,
Musemother/Jenn
