Visioning 2020 and New Starts

"It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings." - Wendell Berry

SoulCollage(R) card: Take a Flying Leap 

It seems change is the only constant. We are in constant flux, even those of us who rigidly resist change will grow older, lose loved ones, contract illnesses that force us to rest or review our lifestyle; we watch our children grow up and become parents, and if you are a woman, you could potentially even go through at least three metamorphoses from puberty to pregnancy and menopause, where your body transforms and you lose an old identity to become a new person.

Here we are at the start of a new year, and perhaps the whole month of January is a good time to revision what came last year, and what is coming ahead in 2020. Perhaps you are in the middle of a reevaluation, a reinvention or transition of some kind. Perhaps you are ready to take a leap, but have a fear of the unknown.

I seem to go through transitions regularly - in the early fall of 2019 I remember facing the new season with a certain amount of resistance. There were big changes in my role as facilitator that made me uncertain, fearful or just plain stuck, blocked. Something new was on the horizon, I hadn't stepped into it fully yet, and it felt overwhelming or just mystifying. Who will I be if I let go of how I used to be, or what I was doing before? Who will I become?

The creative process of SoulCollage(R) is a great tool for exploring these inner parts of self - to use the random intuitive side of the brain to choose images, create cards for them, and dialogue with them to find out what new insights or perspectives my inner wise self comes up with. Especially when I feel stuck, I am always surprised by the depth and wisdom my own psyche discovers. 

Looking back from this vantage point, the frozen dam got unblocked and a wealth of new connections were made, the energy I needed arrived, and the new year has begun with many new opportunities for exploration and growth. I did get some counselling help, which was wonderful, to be able to say out loud what had been simmering underneath. And my daily card readings helped clarify my relationship to some underlying issues.

What transitions are you facing? Is there something unclear, some unknown future beckoning to you? A change coming that you are resisting? At midlife this happens frequently - and according to psychologist Elizabeth Strazar, the midlife shift involves the awakening and emergence of the soul - a longing for creative inspiration, meaning-making and spiritual connection. Our deeper self wants to be seen and heard.

Come explore those inner parts of self and let them out to play with a creative process I love, SoulCollage(R), on Sunday, Feb 2 at the Yellow Umbrella Center in Beaconsfield, Quebec from 1-4 pm. We will find some allies, discover what our challengers are, and find some of the gifts hiden in the bottom of our travel bag. No art experience is necessary.

You will be amazed by the surprising inner wisdom that pops up with the use of your imagination, your intuition and selected images. The soul speaks the language of images. And you may find some inner guidance that satisfies you in this time of transition. 

SoulCollage(R) is the doorway to your inner wisdom.

see the link on my Home page under Events www.jenniferboire.com

Heart Focus card 

"Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize it. Nothing ever sums itself up in the way that we like to dream about. The off-center, in-between state is an ideal situation, a situation in which we don't get caught and we can open our hearts and minds beyond limit. It's a very tender, non-aggressive, open-ended state of affairs." - Pema Chodron

Here be Dragons: Transition Times, Facing the Unknown

SoulCollage(R) Card: Taming the Dragon 

“The human spirit is capable of an endless number of extraordinary feats. It is a dragon slayer, animating its presence within our being to challenge images and thoughts that arise from the depths of our darkness, intent upon reshaping how we see the landscape of our life.” -  Carolyn Myss

A few years ago, I took a class called Dark Gifts. I was intrigued by the title and ready to face my fear of writing the true stories of my childhood with a dysfunctional (but loving) family. I knew it was going to be scary, even though I had previously written a book of poems called “Little Mother”, and dived deeply in my journal for many years. But I also knew there was treasure to be uncovered in that dark cave.

At each transition point in my life, it seems, the dragons raise their heads and blast me with “thou shalt not pass here” messages. I am a brave and curious soul, usually, not reckless, not Game of Thrones kind of adventurer, but eager to understand my own processes and move onward and upward. Still, after the dizzying mid-life transition at menopause, I felt a bit weak in the knees, a bit less sure of myself, so this course beckoned to me.

Here’s the thing about dragons – what I found out when I asked it why I couldn’t pass (in a guided meditation), is that there was no good reason – and when I imagined my little girl self singing it a lullaby, the dragon actually lowered its hoary head and let me come closer. The tears that flowed from my eyes melted some of my own armour, showing me the true nature of courage; by allowing myself to be vulnerable, as Brene Brown says, more courage began to flow. It felt like a pivotal moment. (I’m still working on those childhood stories).

What I’m discovering with my creative practice of SoulCollage® is that the first step, after creating a safe space to play/work in, is to call in my allies and guides for help in facing the dragons. I have made several Protector cards, Wise Elder and Earth Mother cards, cards that feel nurturing and loving and accepting. I also have a few warrior cards, and a ferocious Mountain Lion who stands guard and protects my boundaries. Now I also know that my innocent girl child has a light and power that can fight the dark.

SoulCollage(R) Card: Mountain Lion Protector 

In the workshop I’m offering this weekend, called Darkness to Light, Navigating Transitions, we are going to name and claim our dragons, the boogeymen who say – Stop! You can’t go forward! There be dragons here!  And we will also find and name our allies. We have all been through many transitions in our lives, but in the face of the current transition or challenge, we sometimes forget the skills and tools we learned the last time around. For instance, most of us have survived a lot of challenges: we made it through adolescence, challenging relationships, illnesses, loss of a loved one, or a job change – but when we are in the middle of it, it feels just as scary every time to face the unknown, to be uncertain of the future. I remember Joan Borysenko describing it in a workshop on Change as being in the hallway, with one door closed and the other one not opened yet.  It’s normal to feel uneasy about what is not seen yet, and unknown.

SoulCollage(R) Card: Goddess Blessing Child with Sun and Water

This is why we need to call in our allies. We also need to name our challengers, pull the dragons out of the dark and ask them to speak to us, ask them: what is the treasure you are guarding? What gift do you have for me? What can I give you in return? There is always a gift in the darkness; hiding in the shadows is our gold.

Writing this article, I came across this powerful piece called Meeting the Dragon, by Robert Holden:  “’On the path of bliss you will meet a dragon. On the dragon there are many scales. Every one of them says ‘Thou Shalt Not’," said [Joseph] Campbell. The dragon may take many forms. For instance, a person who discourages you, who says “You can’t” and “You shan’t.” When I was 20 years old, I worked at a BBC radio station for the summer. I loved it. On my last day, the station manager asked to meet me. It was a short meeting. He told me I shouldn’t pursue my interest in radio as I didn’t have the personality or the talent for it. I burst into tears in front of him. What he said sounded like the truth; not just an opinion. This month marked the start of my ninth year hosting my Shift Happens! radio show for Hay House Radio. Not every “Thou Shalt Not” is true.

The dragon is, essentially, an inner experience. It’s often a self-doubt, a judgment, or a belief that breathes fire at you. One of my dragons is the “inner critic” that would roar at me when I sat before the blank page. Over the years, I learned to tame this dragon. Initially, I did everything I could to avoid it, to outrun it, to heal it, and to slay it. One day, I had a revelation. It struck me that the “inner critic” had never been published! I was released. The inner critic still roars at me from time to time, but it has no fire.”

This piece spoke to me personally, because I studied Radio & TV Arts for one year at university, but gave it up, thinking I was not the competitive type of person it took to make it. These days, I have the chutzpah that I didn't have at age 19.

While some people express and explore through words, others use images or dance, breathwork or yoga or any other expressive art to feel the fear, find their strength and glide around the dragons. No matter which modality you use, one thing I’m sure of, your spirit has more power in it than you know. Reclaim your inner resources, your inner wisdom and find your playful spirit of resilience. Perhaps you won't slay the dragon, but have a conversation with it. Use your intuition, your imagination, and most of all, use imagery and symbolism, the language of the soul, to get to the bottom of your treasure.

And of course, if it feels too overwhelming and difficult, consult a professional who can help you face your fears and move forward.

There may be dragons here, but there also be Transformation and Healing!

Playfully yours in creativity, 

Jennifer

Art Collage: Warrior Monk Flies down the Path with Eagle 

7 Stages of Descent Menopause

7 stages of the descent at menopause

Based on the story of Inanna, and her descent through 7 gates to the Underworld, where she is transformed. She is looked upon with the eye of death by her sister Erishkegal, then is revived with the water and earth of life by her assistant and friend Ninshubar. In my experience, what seems like the end is only the beginning of a new phase of life. This is my personal version, and an exercise I give to women in the Heroine's Journey at Mid-Life class.

I share this with you so you may have hope!

7 stages of descent (what do you give up?)

I gave up my will to volunteer all my free time (and postponing my own work)

I gave up multitasking  - unable to do it anymore without breaking something, brain is in a pea-soup fog.

My defensive armour is too heavy, especially around my shoulders. It must come off!  (acupuncture, physiotherapy, osteopath helped, seeing a counsellor helped peel off the scales)

I have lost my ability to mother and take care of everyone else -  I am exhausted and in bed at 8:30 pm. Even the plants are too demanding. Get rid of them!

My libido has disappeared and the desire for sex has gone underground

When I broke my leg skiing,  I was forced to learn how to ask for help. I feel my muscles are mush, liquefied, I am losing wrist strength and muscle mass.

7 gifts I reclaim (what learnings do you return with?)

I surrender and let go. I have no vision for the future, only questions.

I realize my limits. I need rest and downtime, less striving and pushing myself so hard.

I find my voice, the power to say no and the power to choose what is right for me

I claim the power to stand my ground and stay rooted in my truth

My sexuality blossoms, I allow, I receive, I enjoy pleasure

I release the rescuer self in me, and that has freed up my energy for my own work.

I allow time for creative loafing, creativity in all its forms, evolving and moving, staying curious.

If you want to read more about the journey through menopause, see The Tao of Turning Fifty, What Every Woman in Her Forties needs to Know (linked on my website).

namaste,

jennifer

Soulcollage card: East, Rebirth, 

Reawakening