“What is your
truth? Ask your heart, your back, your bones, and your dreams. Listen to that
truth with your whole body. Understand that this truth will destroy no one and
that you’re too old to be sent to your room.” ~John
Lee, Writing from the Body
There is a
war on Feminine Flesh. Do you know that song sung by the Bare Naked Ladies,
Lovers in a dangerous time? These feel
like dangerous times for women’s bodies. The worst part is that the assault comes
from within us, not just from men in power, or from magazines, news, TV and
video. Inside of ourselves there is a
war going on against female cycles, female flesh. We either have too much
or not enough. We look in the mirror and hate what we see. (I know as my pot
belly gets bigger that this is an issue for me, that buying bigger pants will
only partly solve!) In spite of
the great consciousness awareness surrounding abuse and disrespect coming out
of the #metoo movement, in 2018 it is still difficult for women to feel love
and accept their own female bodies, just the way they are.
None of us
seems to be happy with our shape, or our hair, (if it’s curly you want it
straightened, if it’s straight you spend hours curling it); our body size, our
legs or sagging arm flesh, or our boobs heading south as we hit menopause. This gets harder as we get older, as our aging
bodies go through even more changes (why can’t I get rid of that last 10 lbs as
I enter my mid-sixties?) and all this self hatred and judgement has lead to a
boom in cosmetic surgery and diet crazes.
But I think
it’s not just about bodies' aging. An awful lot of young girls and women feel anxious about
their bodies, and it starts at a young age. My daughter, at age 8 came
home from school one day to tell me she had a big tummy. Her friends were starting to criticize
their bodies already! It starts with anxiety
about being “perfect” – all the celebrity images prime us for self-criticism - looking
through a big pile of magazines recently, I could not find any positive images
of women over size 6. They were all super thin, slim, and gorgeous or a few of the
opposite – extremely overweight and unhealthy – where is the middle ground?
Where are the images of women who fit somewhere in the middle, who look like
you or I?
These ridiculously
strict standards cause serious restrictions on our self-image, our self love
and our freedom: we’re hit from all
sides - from the fashion and cosmetic
industry, even at the local parents’ committee, there are body police everywhere, measuring us up, judging
us on our weight gain (or loss), our clothing size, hair colour, how much
cellulite we have, and offering the best surgery or botox to correct our
imperfections….the harsh criticism from self and others never ends.
Food is no
longer about nourishment. We are constantly monitoring our hunger, our food
intake, counting calories, working out to lose the bag of chips we just ate,
punishing and rewarding ourselves for lack of effort or sticking to the diet
and exercise plan, hating ourselves in the mirror. I’m not saying we shouldn’t try
to look and feel our best – but we go to extremes - either obsessing about it or we numbing ourselves with cookies,
ice cream or alcohol. We have learned to
disconnect from our bodies, from our intuitive knowing, and from our feelings.
Which ever way you
look at it, there has been a long history of conflict surrounding women’s
bodies, all the way back to Eve. Our bodies, our cycles and our sexuality have been banned and sent
underground for so long, either seen as depravity and evil or simply banned and nonexistent, ignored by generations of women too traumatized to know
differently. We have lost our
collective memory, the knowledge that used to be passed down from mothers,
aunts and sisters to their younger daughters, nieces and sisters. The once
sacred women’s rites around the menstrual cycle and childbirth for example
became suspect and connected to witchcraft, and thousands of women were burned,
drowned or hung. There are many hundreds of years of history behind our
relationship with our feminine nature, our bodies and our intuition.
I think it's time to declare a truce on the war with our body. What if we picked one small part of
our body to reclaim and love back to a healthy relationship? We may not be able
to transform our attitude overnight, but we can take little steps, one body
part at a time. What if we actually began to feel worthy and deserving of
self-love?
What is Women’s Wisdom?
We can only counter the negative baggage by beginning with ourselves, with
loving our bodies, one part at a time. Embodied living means learning to live
consciously, in touch with our inner guidance through our thoughts, emotions,
dreams, and with acceptance of the feelings in our body. It means believing that our
bodies are able to receive and transmit energy and information. We can begin to develop our intuition, our feminine wisdom.
Because I need to heal my relationship and begin listening to my body too, I am
offering a women's one-day workshop called Body Love in
a Dangerous Time. We will start by re-establishing some open
communication with our bodies, by looking at one small part,
acknowledging it, listening to it and dialoguing with it in our journals, in a
judgement free zone of lovingkindness.
That’s where we begin, and then in the
afternoon we’ll make a SoulCollage(R) card for a body part we want to improve
our relationship with, or send some love to. SoulCollage(R) is a nourishing, expressive
art form that uses images, intuition and imagination to make small 5 x 8
collages that reflect inner parts, emotions, archetypes and energies. (www.soulcollage.com)
We’ll also
spend some time breathing deeply and relaxing, finding and releasing areas of
tension, and inviting in a sense of self-love, gratitude and wonderment at the
beautiful beings we are. We will take
baby steps to feel good about our body parts, and infuse them with love and
attention.
We will baby
ourselves, ladies, we will love ourselves like we would love a precious child
and make a start at healing the disconnect.
The Church says: the body is a sin.
Science says: the body is a machine.
Advertising says: The body is a business.
much love to your on your journey
Jennifer
more information, times, date, cost at www.jenniferboire.com
