Corona Quarantine Update

SoulCollage(R) card: Home and Hearth

It’s a blast to be at home full-time, isn’t it? I feel safe, protected, not too lonely cause of Skype, Zoom and whatever tools to stay connected. 

But what a drag to have all my outside classes for the next two months cancelled! I planned, prepared and wrote scripts for retreats and workshops; I booked rooms and paid deposits and advertised like crazy; I made videos to promote my retreat, communicated with people who were interested in SoulCollage® training, workshops and intros like never before….all to have it be postponed due to this beep-beep virus. I will be writing a newsletter soon, once I have some new dates to announce.

Hey, but on the bright side, Jacques and I got some singing done. My hubby and I are half of Silk Sky Band  https://www.silkskyband.com/ and we love singing acoustic duets together. I love harmonizing with him (36 years ago, that's how we met!) He works from home since the past two weeks, and is loving it - working without having to deal with traffic, without constant interruptions, but he also spends a lot of draining time on phone calls with nervous clients. It’s been a rocky road for the market and investors.

At least we have each other – right? I have three sisters and two brothers who are single and I can sympathize. We went to Florida one week, then two weeks together at home, three meals a day, evenings binge watching Netflix on the couch, getting out to walk the dog together…until she had a little back pain episode two days ago; her legs just gave out on her briefly and she couldn’t get up - she lay there making a horrendous noise for a minute until we got her into her crate and then to the vet. She’s better now,  on more pain medication, as well as her heart medication, and yeah, at 15 she’s probably reached her best by date. Poor little Mollie, our Shiztu-Bichon mix, little cutie, who still gets heads turning when we walk with her, is not going to have any long walks for two weeks. She is good company, if quiet these days.

All this down time - what to do? I don’t know how productive you all are. But I can’t seem to concentrate. I thought this quiet time would help me reflect and focus on my writing. Hmmm, instead what I find is that every two days my anxiety amps up, and I need to do something like lie on the floor and breathe, or watch a video with some EFT, or take a chill pill. Especially if I have to go out somewhere, with gloves and mask, to pick up groceries or get to the notary to sign the closing on our new hobby farm! I feel like I should be overjoyed to get outside, but instead I’m even more nervous.

There are so many unknowns, and for a control freak like myself, probably traumatized in childhood from growing up in an alcoholic environment with tons of unexpected, unpredictable little crisis’s popping up, these unknowns are a little bit scary.  See, that little ball of worry in my tummy, it comes from past experiences and rushes up to greet me in this new crisis.

Anyways, I keep active, and creative and love making SoulCollage® cards and collages in my art journal. However, my brain is too full of worry to calm down and write creatively. I'm giving myself a pass on that one. And I am reading a lot instead. I have read four or five novels in the past two weeks (I know, I’m a speed reader). Good thing Amazon and Chapters deliver!

As for family, I keep in touch with our almost 30-year-old son and his wife, and our 27-year-old daughter by Facetime and their favorite app HouseParty. 

SoulCollage(R) card: Touch me through the Screen

We call or email with siblings and my 89 year old mom,, we see neighbours walk by and occasionally stop and chat at a good six foot distance. (the local policemen drive by on motorcycles checking out the parks and gathering places). We do not feel isolated, yet,  and we do have a pretty scenic view of the St Lawrence where it widens out into Lac St Louis, right in back of the house; barring any spring floods, with all the recent Geese flocking here on the ice floes, it’s been very peaceful.

My relationship with the wild world is increasing. Definitely gonna make a card for those Canada Geese because they are good guardians and companions.

The most fun thing we’ve done so far, besides making popcorn and watching the show Sex Education (a hoot!) on Netflix, is do some singing and post it on Facebook. We received a lot of good feedback, so I put two songs up on my YouTube channel. That’s a first! Life is Beautiful! 
https://www.youtube.com/feed/my_videos

We also shared some of our favorite songs on a new playlist on Spotify called Corona Congeé (means Corona holiday), with some uplifting, heart-full and happy songs.  It's public. 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4LpjAh6Jk1rnuLrcSjMeau  One of them is by Alison Kraus and James Taylor (two of our faves) doing “How’s the world treating you?” 

So that’s my question for today, How is the isolation-stay-at-home sheltering in place working for you?

Love and hugs, toodles

Jenn

www.jenniferboire.com

Turning Fifty? So What's the Big Deal?

Now that I'm the wise old age of 57, sometimes I forget what it was like to approach fifty. My forties are a bit of a blur because I had my children late, and they hit puberty as I was hitting menopause. I do remember the arguments over plates on the counter, not in the dishwasher, and begging them to make their beds, until I gave up and just closed the door. But my personal life sonmetimes took a back seat to raising children and renovating our living space.

Even at fifty, my youngest was only 12...so the good times were still to come. There were lots of good times of course, family times, picnics, vacations, soccer games, ballet recitals, hip hop concerts, you name it.  But 'me time'? not so much.

So for me, turning fifty and above has been mostly about trying to carve out some time for me - time to find that well-adjusted psyche and sense of fulfillment people talk about in articles on mid-life. If you have your children in your late thirties, your mid-life may end up being in your late fifties. And you may still be adjusting to mid-life in your 60's.

Being fifty, (or 55, or 57) is about finally finding your self, your choices, your own tastes, your own heart's desire.  Mid-life has been like a second adolescence for me, partly because I stayed home with my kids and so the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up was still relevant. I had already gone back to school, gotten a master's degree, but what did I really want to do with it? Writing at home in my little room was no longer as fulfilling. I wanted to go out into the bigger world and play!

So my fifties has been about discovering this side of me: I've taken workshops, lead workshops, read books, written a few, and now I am leading retreats for women as well as creative journaling classes, which is so much where I want to be. Learning, exploring, following my passion, doing what I feel like - which involves more learning about what I love, what I feel, understanding my patterns and places I get stuck, finding out what really excites me.  And sharing those discoveries with other women.

It sounds like it's all about me - and it is.  I have found my vocation is largely talking about myself, something I've always loved anyway.  I use my own stories to illustrate the mid-life journey, as well as those of others I've encountered. There's a lot of uncertainty for women who have raised children, worked as caretakers and managers of households, once they begin to wonder what their skills are, and where their gifts and talents lie beyond bandaging scraped knees, driving kids to piano lessons and multi-tasking. Actually even the women who work full time as well as raising families sometimes question their roles at mid-life. Not a few women I know have created new careers, started businesses, or gone back to school in their forties and fifties.

Time is short, and at fifty, you face your own time limit. It's time to find out what really turns you on, what you really want to do with this wild and precious life, as Mary Oliver puts it. Maybe it scares you a little, but you find you have the courage, one baby step at a time, to explore new options, discover new territories, set out on adventures beyond your back yard.

And for some, the adventure is to come back to the roost and rest, to stop churning and turning in busy busy mode, and simplify. To learn to do one thing at a time. And that's an adventure too, because it is also unknown territory.

Whatever your adventure, getting to know your self along the way makes it more interesting.  I've only used about half the box of crayons, and there are so many colours to discover!

Namaste,
Jenn/Musemother

What Women Want Now Time article

The Time poll on the status of women in America was published this week (US participants only probably, but as we are so similar I presume Canadian stats are not much different).

Maria Shriver produced the Shriver Report: A Woman's Nation Changes Everything, and according to an article by her in Time magazine, it's a "landmark study that examines how families live and wok today." It sounds like women have made great strides, but are still carrying more of the load, especially in the home.

It's a good thing that 70% of women say they are less financially dependent on their spouses than their mothers were. But the level of stress may have increased as well: 40% experience stress frequently, and 39% sometimes. And what to make of the fact that 65% of adults surveyed think that not having a stay-at-home parent is a negative for society (whether male or female is not specified).

57% of men think it's better if the father works outside the home and the mother takes care of the children. Surprisingly 51% of women agree. But who is actually taking care of the children in either case? 69% of women are primarily responsible for taking care of their children versus 13% of men. Some lucky ones say "both of us" (26% of women, 40% of men).

It's all about negotiating the load - there's a book reviewed in the Globe & Mail today which examines the Superior women who take on that load or burden of working plus housecare plus childcare. The theory is that we have trained our men to do less, by being superior at multi-tasking.

An interesting thought - because it lays the onus for change on women, of course, the superior ones. Who must now retrain their spouses to not only take out the garbage but change diapers, take junior to piano lessons, doctor appointments and the rest of the parenting duties.

What do women want? I think it's a faily simple answer. We want an equal partnership. We don't want to be boss (not really....), we don't want to be under his thumb, and we don't want to raise a family all on our own (not really....). We want help bringing home the bacon, frying it up and putting it on the table for the little piglets, I mean kids.

We want to play more, put up our feet and relax more, have meaningful conversations with our loved ones, be appreciated for all we do, and we thrive on a fair challenge.

That's all. Not much to ask.

40 years later.....from Time's first special issue on the status of women, there has been a lot of progress. College campuses are filled with women, Half the Ivy League presidents are women and two of the three network anchors (soon will be). Women win Nobel Prizes, publish books under their own names, and have babies when they want to, not because they have no choice.
Now what women want is a break! time off to take care of themselves....

Let's hear it for women. You rock, baby! You are not getting older, you ARE getting better.....
musemother

I am a woman listening for my own voice

Last Thursday at my women's circle, I began our circle chat with a centering exercise, a visualisation of the Shekinah or feminine spirit, enfolding us in her maternal wings. Then I read from a book I am loving these days, I Am A Woman Finding Her Own Voice, by Janet Quinn. (see her website at http://www.haelanworks.com).

With her inspiration, I am learning to live from the inside out. With the fall season, I am once again turning inwards to discover what best to do with my time, how best to serve, which project to focus on. There are highs and lows, days I feel inspired to write, days I throw in the dish towel, days I get busy cleaning house and baking muffins instead of paying attention to my own voice.

Something I read today in her book really rang true, because something woke me in the middle of the night to tell me the same thing: my own deep womansoul is crying out for a life of my own.

"Slowly, I stopped worrying and I began to look at my life. I listened for the faint sound of my own true voice, buried far below all of my identities and roles and accompplishments, below my shoulds and my have-tos, my fears and y hopes. I sat. I watched the sunrise and learned to identify birds. I waited. I watched the grass go from summer green to fall brown. I wrote in my journal every day, and every day I listened for her, for my authentic self.

"Finally, slowly, I began to hear the voice of my deep womansoul crying out for a life of my own, pleading for a chance to discover my own unique song; to dance to my own choreography; to define my own purpose, direction, and vision, separate from what the world expected of me; separste from trying to be good and stay out of trouble. I heard her saying, You are enough; just you, just who you are; you are good enough. You can stop proving it now. It's safe to come out; trust me, I will lead you. Trust this process. Trust that you are not alone."

It is that process of trusting the inner voice, the silent nudgings, the serendipity of chance readings and encounters, above all facing the fear of not being 'good' if I follow my own path. I am in process. I am not finished yet. But I can still travel with my good companion, my feelings, my body wisdom, and breathe into my body. Stay with the feelings, let them come up and show themselves, speak their truth to me. Because I want to write from a true place, teach from a true place, and my feeling is that it begins with self-acceptance.

This morning it began with a mini-retreat, some yoga, some cradling of the creaky hips on the floor, some stretches and music and candle-light, some reading of Mary Oliver's poetry - you do not have to be good, she says, you just have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
How I love to hear this line, which allows me to be good and love myself at the same time.

this yearning is for being at home with myself
this restless seeking of 'what to do' is really just resistance to being home with myself
I am at home with myself today,
and it feels good

nameste
musemother
ps planning a retreat for women called Poetry for your woman's soul, in November

Remembering Where Home Is

Did you ever chant Aum before or after a yoga class?

Once I was reading a poem and said the word Home at the end of it, and realized the resonances with Aum.

Last night on the Academy Awards for motion pictures, the Indian man who won best score for Slum Dog Millionaire talked about the silence before and after Aum. On national TV!

He thanked his teachers, and I wondered if he meant spiritual teachers or musical ones....

in any case, Home is where the heart is, and Heart is where Home is.

believe that you are never far away from your Home, because you carry it with you.

Be at peace, by coming back Home, by paying attention to where the Heart feels best.

have a beautiful day at Home,

nameste,
musemother
www.wordsofpeace.com