Harvesting Inner Beauty Feb1

Transitions: how to take care of your self when you hit a rough patch

When I hit a rough patch, I usually have two choices: to call on the Warrior, the get up and go survivor who keeps on keeping on, or to call on the Caretaker archetype, the soft, soothing one who wants to fall back into bed with a cozy blanket and have a nap.

I am a stubborn mix of both, Warrior and Caretaker.

It must stem from the way I was raised - I was brought up an army captain Dad, who was an engineer, a planner and builder,  a competitive guy who loved sports and worked hard.

He brought us out into the woods to chop down our own Christmas tree and if we complained our feet were cold he would encourage us to stamp our feet and clap our hands. He got us out the door (almost on time) every Sunday, to mass at 11:00 am  in spite of my mom’s dawdling or purposeful resistance to getting ready on time. He was a leader, a manager, a pusher and a striver. He got things done and he taught us to do the same – shine your shoes, iron your clothes, stand up straight, eat everything on your plate and don’t whine!

My dad would push me to compete in races even when I just knew my wee little legs wouldn’t go as fast on skates as the other kids. “I can’t” was my motto. Yet I loved winning at cards, and I was often left “in charge” of my younger siblings. He was my hero in spite of everything.

My mom was an alcoholic in recovery for most of my life, and as a young mother she was quickly overwhelmed by having eight kids in ten years, one after the other. She was a beautiful, bohemian spirit at heart who would have made a great writer or journalist but instead worked as a secretary and got married at age 21 (1953). She was brought up Catholic, so no birth control was allowed. She cried easily, used the fly swatter to keep us in line, but had a kind, generous heart, loved telling stories and at the bottom was a good caretaker, making us ginger ale and orange juice fizzy drinks when we had measles, mumps, scarlet fever, or chicken pox….imagine four little girls all sick at the same time, nestled in our bunkbeds with the blinds drawn, and her running up and down the narrow stairs in that 3-bedroom house in the country where the pipes froze often in winter. We lived there until I was twelve.

All that to say, I grew up a feminist in my teens, believing she was the weak one, seemingly pushed around by her stronger, bully husband. She was a homemaker, not a role model for me, not a ‘success’ in the outer world – yet, she is still here, a survivor at 89, and he died at 83….she, who can barely digest anything and weighs 90 lbs, has all kinds of health issues from depression to IBS and a heart valve, still smokes, and still survives.  Who am I to call her weak?

She was the one who sang to us, Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile. If we were feeling sorry for ourselves, or whimpering, she’d sing, “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I’m going to the garden to eat worms.” We didn’t cry much in front of her. She grew up in the depression and lived through WWII so she learned a thing or two about Keeping On.

So I am definitely on the fence about how to treat myself in a rough patch - not sure how I feel about this self-compassion thing everybody touts in the yoga and Buddhist community. I am a big proponent of self-care, self-love, and kindness, theoretically. But is it self pity? If I'm truthful with myself, I have a harsh inner critic, nourished and watered from childhood by the belief in Strength, Courage, Soldiering On with the battle.  I hate whiners. Those who fail, are doomed. Those who give up, die. It’s like I am living with WWII forever in my head. The photos and articles on the 75^th anniversary of Auschwitz drum it in to us – to survive, you have to resist, you have to believe, you have to fight. Never surrender.

Warrior Courage with Cougar Protector

I’m lying in yoga class when this insight comes to me. I want to stay in assisted child-pose for another twenty minutes. I want restorative yoga, not strength building, ab-crunching plank pose. Yet, I also want that muscle strength so that when I do downward dog or sun salutation, I can lift myself with ease. 

Where is the middle ground, where I can be strong and soft at the same time? Without fear of collapsing like my mother into a depressive, hoarding mess, (she survives, but she lives in a very disorganized house), or becoming too strident and harsh, in army captain mode, pushing myself beyond my limits all the time, feeling overwhelmed and fatigued.

Caretaker Archetype

So that is my question this morning and I don’t have the answer. I do not want to fall into self-pity, but I also recognize the signs of frozen emotion and know that not allowing myself to cry is not the answer either.

As I lay there, tearing up in corpse pose, (the best recompense of a tough yoga class) the feeling of Presence overcame me. A feeling of a soft, loving power greater than me, a light inside, a feeling I cannot describe. In that moment, everything was ok. All was well. I wanted to stay there longer and soak it up.

Maybe that is the middle ground I seek.

When the struggle quiets down, when the noise in the head calms, when the body lies still. But now, class is over, it’s up and at em, ready to carry that Peace into my day, like a Peace Warrior fighting with calm, reminding myself to simply be Present, Curious, Aware, self-compassionate, and kind to others as well. Let the tears fall, too.

For we are all fighting a hard battle, inside – and we must be kind not only to others, but to ourselves.

namest,

jenn

Visioning 2020 and New Starts

"It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and that when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings." - Wendell Berry

SoulCollage(R) card: Take a Flying Leap 

It seems change is the only constant. We are in constant flux, even those of us who rigidly resist change will grow older, lose loved ones, contract illnesses that force us to rest or review our lifestyle; we watch our children grow up and become parents, and if you are a woman, you could potentially even go through at least three metamorphoses from puberty to pregnancy and menopause, where your body transforms and you lose an old identity to become a new person.

Here we are at the start of a new year, and perhaps the whole month of January is a good time to revision what came last year, and what is coming ahead in 2020. Perhaps you are in the middle of a reevaluation, a reinvention or transition of some kind. Perhaps you are ready to take a leap, but have a fear of the unknown.

I seem to go through transitions regularly - in the early fall of 2019 I remember facing the new season with a certain amount of resistance. There were big changes in my role as facilitator that made me uncertain, fearful or just plain stuck, blocked. Something new was on the horizon, I hadn't stepped into it fully yet, and it felt overwhelming or just mystifying. Who will I be if I let go of how I used to be, or what I was doing before? Who will I become?

The creative process of SoulCollage(R) is a great tool for exploring these inner parts of self - to use the random intuitive side of the brain to choose images, create cards for them, and dialogue with them to find out what new insights or perspectives my inner wise self comes up with. Especially when I feel stuck, I am always surprised by the depth and wisdom my own psyche discovers. 

Looking back from this vantage point, the frozen dam got unblocked and a wealth of new connections were made, the energy I needed arrived, and the new year has begun with many new opportunities for exploration and growth. I did get some counselling help, which was wonderful, to be able to say out loud what had been simmering underneath. And my daily card readings helped clarify my relationship to some underlying issues.

What transitions are you facing? Is there something unclear, some unknown future beckoning to you? A change coming that you are resisting? At midlife this happens frequently - and according to psychologist Elizabeth Strazar, the midlife shift involves the awakening and emergence of the soul - a longing for creative inspiration, meaning-making and spiritual connection. Our deeper self wants to be seen and heard.

Come explore those inner parts of self and let them out to play with a creative process I love, SoulCollage(R), on Sunday, Feb 2 at the Yellow Umbrella Center in Beaconsfield, Quebec from 1-4 pm. We will find some allies, discover what our challengers are, and find some of the gifts hiden in the bottom of our travel bag. No art experience is necessary.

You will be amazed by the surprising inner wisdom that pops up with the use of your imagination, your intuition and selected images. The soul speaks the language of images. And you may find some inner guidance that satisfies you in this time of transition. 

SoulCollage(R) is the doorway to your inner wisdom.

see the link on my Home page under Events www.jenniferboire.com

Heart Focus card 

"Life is a good teacher and a good friend. Things are always in transition, if we could only realize it. Nothing ever sums itself up in the way that we like to dream about. The off-center, in-between state is an ideal situation, a situation in which we don't get caught and we can open our hearts and minds beyond limit. It's a very tender, non-aggressive, open-ended state of affairs." - Pema Chodron

Harvesting Inner Beauty Day Long Retreat Sunday March 29, 2020

COME OUT AND PLAY WITH TWO CREATIVE PROCESSES: SOULCOLLAGE(R) AND INTUITIVE MOVEMENT.

SUNDAY MARCH 29, 10-4:30

$85 - EARLY BIRD SPECIAL SAVE $20 -

REGISTER NOW! www.jenniferboire.com

watch this video to find out more about what Kim and I are offering. Our true beauty is shining within us, if we have the eyes to see!

Sacred Feminine in the Center of the Circle

Dear readers,

I had such a beautiful morning and am feeling like sharing a bit of it with you. This has been my year of trying new things - a new Dance your Bliss class, seeing a counsellor bi-weekly ot overcome some writing blocks, attending a drum circle for the first time, and today I got brave and attended a Red Tent circle in Hudson, Quebec.

Run by Aine Sun, a beautiful heart-centered woman, this new Dana Center is a place for women to gather, listen to each other, share their stories and feel welcomed, seen and heard, with a minimum of ritual and ceremony.

Being seen and heard myself this morning, made me feel like a bucket of sunshine had been poured on my heart. I have been in a lot of circles in the past 20 years, lead some, started some, and I always come away from that deep listening space feeling renewed and happy.  It's simple, in a way, that really all we want is to be accepted for who we are, have a short space to express how we feel, and feel the invisible embrace of listening hearts mirroring back to us, I am valuabe, I am loved.

SoulCollage(R) card: Brigid 

On my drive home, I thought back to 1986, when I went back to University here in Montreal to study creative writing and a minor in women's studies. I already thought of myself as a feminist since my teens, bu my thirties I had let that slide a little. I loved the courses on mythology and women's religions around the world, and on women's literature. It began a life-long fascination with writing the feminine, writing about taboo subjects - breastfeeding, sex during pregnancy, the joy of children in their bodies, (although my daughter when she was seven or eight did not appreciate coming across my poem of her vulva dance, dancing with blue chalk all over her two year old body, like a little Goddess), and later a book on the emotional turmoil at menopause.

I have written about the feminine mysteries of menstruation and menopause, published articles and books, taken courses like the one I'm doing online right now called Goddesses of Self-Care, read a ton of books about When God was a Woman, and the 5,000 year period since the goddess has been demonized and relegated to the underworld as a witch or fertility figure. But now, today, I felt the light fill me up from within. I felt this sacred part of me could shine as I danced to some gentle music at the end, mybody was moving in tune with the heart-filled center, the feminine essence.

My struggles to understand both the feminine and the masculine as archetypes, and release myself from wounds and patterns instilled during childhood, have lead me here - to embrace the sacred feminine at the center of my being, as a living energy, not a stone statue, nor a picture on a wall, but inside my flesh and bone, my belly and thighs, my breasts and uterus, my legs and arms and all.

I can dance with my sacred feminine life energy in the center of my body. I share my appreciation, my wounded brokenness, my joy and my wild feminine life force with other women in the circle.

Next thing I'm going to do is take every book I have written, every poem, every class offering on the feminine, and dance around it, to celebrate my creative participation in awakening the goddess within, the sacred feminine energy of life within.

Aho!

Watch me dance!

Healing the inner masculine, Journaling and SoulCollage®

Sometimes our inner world throws us a curve ball, we are thrown into chaos or confusion internally, the way ahead appears to be lost. I finally got up the courage to see a counsellor to work through some resistance I felt to starting my list of projects. It was the beginning of fall, and I was busy planning workshops, retreats, and proposing to write a book about my father. It’s difficult to not feel like my usual creative self. And it’s even harder to ask for help, to admit that I feel stuck, and uninspired. I set myself up as the Inner Wisdom Guide for Pete’s sake. It took me six months to make the call, but I’m glad I did, even if it feels very vulnerable to even talk about.

We started talking about my life, my family of origin, and of course, my mother’s alcoholism and how I was raised to be the little mother, a good Catholic girl, the eldest, responsible one. For a few sessions, she asked me to prod into any residual anger that may be blocking my energy. I couldn't feel any anger, just sadness.

Good Girl Saying Grace (angel watching) 

Because I work with SoulCollage®, I showed her some of my cards and she was willing to work this way. Talking was helping, but I needed to consult my cards to see what they had to say about how to deal with any simmering anger hidden under the surface. Who would help me deal with that?  The first card that appeared was one I named Healing the Masculine. 

The image on the card is of a bronze statue with a broken right arm, being cleaned by a female archeologist, against the backdrop of the Aegean Sea, or ancient Greece. My right arm has been chronically stiff, first with calcific bursitis, then a frozen shoulder and has been bothering me for almost ten years. I’ve had every kind of treatment, from physiotherapy, osteopathy, rolfing, acupuncture and now talk therapy. Looking at this card, I realized the one who carried rage in our home was my father. I looked up to him as a role model because my mother had collapsed, checked out in my teen years with drinking and depression.  My dad was an engineer, a logical thinker, an army captain, a man who always wanted to excel at what he did, who graduated with honours. But who had demons of his own.

Healing Inner Masculine

In search of more answers about this imbalance of masculine and feminine, I’m also consulting books, getting massages, and trying to figure out how to be less numb, more in touch with my body. 

What I’m learning and what I feel intuitively is that the way to heal the masculine is by approaching the inner feminine, those values I always forget are my healing medicine – rest, receptivity and allowing feelings to arise. Being at home allows me to take the time required, and embrace my Inner Hestia, the side of me that loves to putter in the house, who heals herself and others with chicken soup, slow simmered stews, herbal tinctures and teas (especially in fall and winter). The cozy home and sanctuary is already here, if I can only appreciate it. They say compassion begins at home, so Jennifer, it’s time to lay down the sword and mantle, the staff of being the one in charge, put aside the crown of Overarching Boss of Everything. Descend, my lady, to your inner comfort zone and refill the well.

This does feel awkward, not in line with the goal setting I’ve been doing.  Since last year I’ve been revamping my website, gearing up to lead trainings for facilitators, which involves more workshops, outreach and marketing. I also have a few creative projects, singing with my husband in a band, as well as a barbershop quartet, publishing a book of poems with translation, there are lots of pots on the burners. So it feels a bit backwards to be focusing on doing less when there is so much I want to do!

It feels absolutely unheroic and unproductive: instead of going up and at ‘em, dreaming big, and expanding my reach, for the moment, I’m headed down and in, asking questions of my body, and composting the dark shadowy stuff in the heart. I’ve always been one to counsel others to listen carefully to the body’s wisdom and practice self-care. Now it’s my turn (menopause was also a big teaching moment about descent into feeling).  It’s not time to Go Big or Go Home. It’s time to find out where Home is.

At 65, I have accomplished most of my dreams already: I am grateful for my wonderful hubby and grown children, beautiful home, a creative community of women, working with SoulCollage®, and journaling. There were a few disappointments -  two miscarriages, and none of the books I published were best sellers. But the books did bring me out in the public for speaking engagements. And I have had the opportunity to study with some amazing teachers, Dr. Clarissa PInkola Estes, Nathalie Goldberg, Joan Borysenko, Cat Caracelo, and Mariabruna Sirabella. Maybe this is a good time to digest what I have learned, and explore where my passions lie. I still have lots to share, and more to grow, but my soul purpose will only be achieved if live in connection with my heart and body, not just my head.

It’s not always about being productive, and doing more.

For some of us, who are always striving for bigger and better, an illness we need to be cured of  – embracing our flawed, imperfect selves and limitations can be a huge relief and healing balm. When I accept myself, and feel enough, when I know that I am small but mighty, I can relax. I can trust my intuitive knowing to lead me (which often goes against the received wisdom of coaches and marketing execs). I do not feel the need to go faster, dream bigger or be better than I am.  It feels like back peddling sometimes, this downward, inward work, but it also feels good, like a big release, like something transformative is taking place.

Ideally, I imagine standing up for myself with self-protection, rooting and grounding in presence and real-ness. Learning to acknowledge and know my limits, being able to say, I can do this and no more, and calling in my angels and guides to support me. Maybe I’ll even learn the ability to say no without feeling bad at displeasing others. Mostly, I realize, the one I fear displeasing is my own inner Father figure, who expected only the best from me but installed a very loud critic voice in my right ear.

I think it’s also time to release the superwoman rescuer.  I cannot take on all the woes of the world and still feel my inner Wow. I feel a deep need to self-nurture in a cocoon for a while, and have that be ok. I have one foot in the underworld these days, as I release the hold of the inner tyrant, and learn to snuggle in the arms of the Great Mother, the eternal feminine.  Some weeping happens, as I write in my journal and of course, having the support of a counsellor lightens the load.

Great Mother/Nurturer as Tree

I had a curious dream last night  – I was playing a violin in a trio with my husband, for a party indoors. We were looking in at them, from outside on the porch, and a very tall woman stood there, bare breasted, with large pendulous breasts, nursing a baby. I leaned over drew the bow across her breast and drops of milk came out through the skin. I was in awe of the power of those breasts. It felt like a puzzle, and I was not afraid, only curious. Intrigued. 

The power of the feminine is like the power of milk, it feeds our hunger. The power of the feminine is to nurture, hold, soul tend, be tender.

That is how my path is unfolding right now, on this healing journey, moving towards embracing what I am, and what I was born to be, a woman who forgives herself for not being perfect, who can hang out  here in the shadow realms as long as needed, so I can learn to love myself, just the way I am.

Battling Dragons collage

Peace Day Video Prem Rawat in Conversation with Jeremy Giller

TimelessToday: The Message of Prem Rawat

Click on the link above to watch this heartwarming and touching vide,  the perfect way to enjoy Peace Day.

They talk about the importance of the need for action now, to reach each individual, the importance of love, and of family, very deep.

enjoy the video - about 22 min long.

xxxx

Midlife tasks : Rite of passage, Crisis or Transition?

So much gold can be found in transition times, but mostly, we feel challenged by the unexpected shifts, changes and challenges - whether it's menopause, divorce, the death of a spouse, parent or child, job loss, empty nest or chronic illness - we are propelled into a process of Change, forced into letting go of the old way, and freaked out perhaps at what has not yet been revealed as the New Normal. 

This wonderful article really helped me reframe the mid-life transition, not as a crisis but as an opportunity for personal growth, a time to take inventory mid-journey and decide what is really important, finding meaning and purpose in the second half of life as a quest for authenticity. I especially like that she says creativity plays a central role in supporting this mid-life review. It also calls on our inner boldness and courage to be inventive and creative in the second half of life.

Here is a short synopsis of the tasks that help us do this: (ps journaling and SoulCollage(R) have helped me get started on these.)

Midlife is a time when our wisdom knocks at the door, sometimes forcefully in form of a crisis or life-changing moment. The following midlife tasks support a life-review and provide helpful signposts along the way:

·         Access Repressed Dreams and Unexpressed Aspects of Self

·        Tell and Revise Life Stories

·        Tend to Regrets and Shame

·         Name and Tame Fears and Inner Barriers

·        Make Peace with the Past

·         Clarify Values and Goals

·         Redefine Body Image and Sexuality

·        Deepen Confidence to Live Wholeheartedly and Authentically

·        Transform Anger into Self-Advocacy and Action

·        Identify Personal Gifts and Passions

·        Offer Gifts and Passions to the World

·        Balance Tending to Others and Tending to Self

·         Reformulate Intimate Relationships Based on Speaking and Honoring Core Needs and Personal Truths

·        Spiritual Quest: Define Meaning and Purpose

·        Nurture Creativity and Creative Self-Expression

·        Cultivate a deeper imaginary with self and others

·        Trust intuition and wisdom

·        Explore and create new possibilities. 

·         Discover more meaning and purpose

Journaling questions to help you gain clarity:

What are my unique gifts?

What dreams, goals and longings have I neglected? (ie what did I used to love, or dream of doing?)

What self-doubts and insecurities block me from being the best version of myself?

What beliefs undermine the expression of my full potential?

What do I need to give myself permission to let go of?

What do I need to give myself permission to embrace?

What are the missing pieces (unmet needs) from my childhood that I can now give to myself?

What feels challenging and leaves me feeling drained?

What brings me peace and satisfaction?

What brings me alive, excites me and gives me joy?

What do I value the most in myself?

What qualities do I admire in others?

What would I like others to have said they learned from me?

Allow any newly emerging ideas and feelings, goals and beliefs to surface. Honour and hold them safe, and if you need to feel held in a safe container, find a counselor who will do so, allowing your rite of passage to continue to unfold.

Adapted from an article Midlife: the Tasks of the Journey, by Elizabeth Strazar, MA, LPC Thimble Island Counseling  www.elizabethstrazar.com   

Here be Dragons: Transition Times, Facing the Unknown

SoulCollage(R) Card: Taming the Dragon 

“The human spirit is capable of an endless number of extraordinary feats. It is a dragon slayer, animating its presence within our being to challenge images and thoughts that arise from the depths of our darkness, intent upon reshaping how we see the landscape of our life.” -  Carolyn Myss

A few years ago, I took a class called Dark Gifts. I was intrigued by the title and ready to face my fear of writing the true stories of my childhood with a dysfunctional (but loving) family. I knew it was going to be scary, even though I had previously written a book of poems called “Little Mother”, and dived deeply in my journal for many years. But I also knew there was treasure to be uncovered in that dark cave.

At each transition point in my life, it seems, the dragons raise their heads and blast me with “thou shalt not pass here” messages. I am a brave and curious soul, usually, not reckless, not Game of Thrones kind of adventurer, but eager to understand my own processes and move onward and upward. Still, after the dizzying mid-life transition at menopause, I felt a bit weak in the knees, a bit less sure of myself, so this course beckoned to me.

Here’s the thing about dragons – what I found out when I asked it why I couldn’t pass (in a guided meditation), is that there was no good reason – and when I imagined my little girl self singing it a lullaby, the dragon actually lowered its hoary head and let me come closer. The tears that flowed from my eyes melted some of my own armour, showing me the true nature of courage; by allowing myself to be vulnerable, as Brene Brown says, more courage began to flow. It felt like a pivotal moment. (I’m still working on those childhood stories).

What I’m discovering with my creative practice of SoulCollage® is that the first step, after creating a safe space to play/work in, is to call in my allies and guides for help in facing the dragons. I have made several Protector cards, Wise Elder and Earth Mother cards, cards that feel nurturing and loving and accepting. I also have a few warrior cards, and a ferocious Mountain Lion who stands guard and protects my boundaries. Now I also know that my innocent girl child has a light and power that can fight the dark.

SoulCollage(R) Card: Mountain Lion Protector 

In the workshop I’m offering this weekend, called Darkness to Light, Navigating Transitions, we are going to name and claim our dragons, the boogeymen who say – Stop! You can’t go forward! There be dragons here!  And we will also find and name our allies. We have all been through many transitions in our lives, but in the face of the current transition or challenge, we sometimes forget the skills and tools we learned the last time around. For instance, most of us have survived a lot of challenges: we made it through adolescence, challenging relationships, illnesses, loss of a loved one, or a job change – but when we are in the middle of it, it feels just as scary every time to face the unknown, to be uncertain of the future. I remember Joan Borysenko describing it in a workshop on Change as being in the hallway, with one door closed and the other one not opened yet.  It’s normal to feel uneasy about what is not seen yet, and unknown.

SoulCollage(R) Card: Goddess Blessing Child with Sun and Water

This is why we need to call in our allies. We also need to name our challengers, pull the dragons out of the dark and ask them to speak to us, ask them: what is the treasure you are guarding? What gift do you have for me? What can I give you in return? There is always a gift in the darkness; hiding in the shadows is our gold.

Writing this article, I came across this powerful piece called Meeting the Dragon, by Robert Holden:  “’On the path of bliss you will meet a dragon. On the dragon there are many scales. Every one of them says ‘Thou Shalt Not’," said [Joseph] Campbell. The dragon may take many forms. For instance, a person who discourages you, who says “You can’t” and “You shan’t.” When I was 20 years old, I worked at a BBC radio station for the summer. I loved it. On my last day, the station manager asked to meet me. It was a short meeting. He told me I shouldn’t pursue my interest in radio as I didn’t have the personality or the talent for it. I burst into tears in front of him. What he said sounded like the truth; not just an opinion. This month marked the start of my ninth year hosting my Shift Happens! radio show for Hay House Radio. Not every “Thou Shalt Not” is true.

The dragon is, essentially, an inner experience. It’s often a self-doubt, a judgment, or a belief that breathes fire at you. One of my dragons is the “inner critic” that would roar at me when I sat before the blank page. Over the years, I learned to tame this dragon. Initially, I did everything I could to avoid it, to outrun it, to heal it, and to slay it. One day, I had a revelation. It struck me that the “inner critic” had never been published! I was released. The inner critic still roars at me from time to time, but it has no fire.”

This piece spoke to me personally, because I studied Radio & TV Arts for one year at university, but gave it up, thinking I was not the competitive type of person it took to make it. These days, I have the chutzpah that I didn't have at age 19.

While some people express and explore through words, others use images or dance, breathwork or yoga or any other expressive art to feel the fear, find their strength and glide around the dragons. No matter which modality you use, one thing I’m sure of, your spirit has more power in it than you know. Reclaim your inner resources, your inner wisdom and find your playful spirit of resilience. Perhaps you won't slay the dragon, but have a conversation with it. Use your intuition, your imagination, and most of all, use imagery and symbolism, the language of the soul, to get to the bottom of your treasure.

And of course, if it feels too overwhelming and difficult, consult a professional who can help you face your fears and move forward.

There may be dragons here, but there also be Transformation and Healing!

Playfully yours in creativity, 

Jennifer

Art Collage: Warrior Monk Flies down the Path with Eagle 

Inner Critic vs Inner Coach, creating a self-nurturing voice

Journeys start from where we are. Everything starts from where we are. Where we are is

where we’re supposed to be. —Evelyn Eaton.

Journaling can serve as a private, personal journey to self-awareness and self-love. A journal can be a place where, once we have purged the negativity, we can start to forgive ourselves, boost our self-confidence, appreciate who we are and bear witness to our accomplishments.

Calming the Critic or Self Saboteur –  the goal is to learn how to recognize and silence debilitating self talk; because our secret belief is that if we don’t put ourselves down, we’ll never be motivated to achieve. By building a loving, self-nurturing voice or Inner Coach, we can change our self-talk.

Remember, we don’t have to like every single thing about ourselves or what we do.  But in order to develop, we have to accept ourselves as we are. The biggest impediment to self acceptance is the inner critic, who can be so loud and continuous that we think it is our own true voice. However, it is only one aspect of our psyche. From the book 20 Minute Retreat, by Rachel Harris Ph.D.

Self Deprecating Critic Voice vs Self-Nurturing Coach Voice**

The best way to silence your inner critics is to nurture your inner coach – when he or she is cheering loudly for you and supporting you every step of the way, your critics will pipe down and know they’ve been beat.   

Here are some ideas to calm your Inner Critic and build your Inner Coach:

1) Know that your Inner Critic will never go away completely. By learning strategies to calm it, you can reduce its destructive power and live more freely.

2) Become mindful of when and how your Inner Critic talks. Start with noticing the words it uses and write them down. Make a list of 10 ways you hear yourself criticizing you. Notice the patterns of what your Critic says and how it makes you feel. This will create awareness of your negative self-talk and the affect that it has on you.

3) Explore the sources that have fed your Inner Critic. Whose voice is it? Consider who in your life disappointed you by being critical rather than helpful. Remember that many people misguidedly think that being critical is useful, even loving.

4) Interrupt your negative self-talk & replace it with a neutral and encouraging inner voice. Imagine a mentor or coach speaking to you. As you repeat this process over and over again, it will become easier. Imagine that your inner coach is sitting next to you as you write in your journal. (It will take practice to speak words of compassion. As is true for all learning, we develop through imitating.)

Base your image on a real person: perhaps a mentor or a sports coach or a best friend who supports and encourages you, someone who has had a significant influence on your life. Visualize that person’s face and hear his or her voice.

Now draw both your Inner Critic and your Inner Coach (inner sweetheart) and give them names.

Or make a SoulCollage® CARD FOR EACH. DIALOGUE WITH THEM IN THEIR VOICES.

Example:

Inner Critic:                                                                         Inner Coach:

You never listen; you talk too much               Not always true. When you are interested you listen closely.

I should have been there for my son today.     It’s not too late; you do care for him, spend 

                                                                         time with him at supper tonight.

Your thighs are too wobbly.                             Your legs are strong, they carry you through

                                                                          the day. Give them more walks outdoors.

You can’t handle this. You’re a failure.           Little by little, I address this issue bothering me.

 One step at a time, with patience and love I grow   stronger.

SoulCollage(R) card Inner Critic

**taken from various sources on-line, and adapted for my Creative Circle Journaling Class

Why Become a SoulCollage(R) Facilitator?

SoulCollage(R) card: Heroine's Journey

What is SoulCollage®?

SoulCollage® is a creative, intuitive process for personal growth, healing and transformation.  You create a deck of cards for personal consultation, using images, intuition and imagination. Synchronicity and surprise are a few of the main elements that give this process its richness and value.

It is easy, fun, and satisfying and can be used by individuals or in groups (families, churches, schools, therapy, coaching, and many other contexts).

By participating in a four-day Training, you will learn how to prepare for a workshop, create safe space for participants with connection, permission and protection; consult your cards in a SoulCollage® reading, as well as learn how to promote your workshops. You will be given access to a rich archive of information available to Facilitators on the SoulCollage® website. www.soulcollage.com 

Who are SoulCollage(R) Facilitators?

Facilitators of this process come from many fields including writers, artists, coaches, and labyrinth facilitators. They may be individuals seeking a creative way to give back to their communities, , cancer support groups, schools, writing groups, and hospices, or therapists, art therapists, counselors, nurses, chaplains, and other licensed professionals working in trauma recovery, addiction recovery, with teenagers, at risk children, and many more.

Find out more about the training with Trainer Jennifer Boire in Montreal, July 3-7, 2019 at the Villa St. Martin, Pierrefonds.

http://jenniferboire.com/the-soulcollage-facilitator-training/. 

Note: The training will be held in English, with French materials available. A French speaking facilitator will be on hand to answer questions and guide small groups in discussion.

As of March 29, 2019, there are 3,837 Facilitators in 48 countries, including Aruba, Australia, Brazil, Belgium, Bulgaria, Canada, Chile, China, Cook Islands, Costa Rica, Czech Republic, Denmark, Dominican Republic, Egypt, England, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Ivory Coast, Japan, Kenya, Lithuania, Luxemburg, Malaysia, Malta, Mexico, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Philippines, Portugal, Qatar, Romania, Russia, Scotland, Singapore, South Africa, South Korea, Swaziland, Sweden, Switzerland, United States, Taiwan, Turkey, and Venezuela.

Watch founder Seena Frost explain how to do SoulCollage(R) on the short video: 

             https://youtu.be/rtDBTTneHfY  

www.jenniferboire.com   for more information on the Training in Montreal

SoulCollage®: How to become your own oracle

Have you ever gone to a reading by a clairvoyant, or picked up an oracle deck of cards to find out the answer to a question that has been bothering you, or has gone unanswered? Have you ever wanted to get more in touch with your own intuition and find the answers to your own questions?

SoulCollage® is a unique way to explore your Self, all the parts of you, your light and your shadow, your talents and gifts, your allies and challengers. Using only images, intuition and imagination, you create a deck of 5 x 8 cards that becomes a visual journal of your journey, one that evolves as you evolve.

With this deck, created using images and symbols that call to you, you hold a symbolic reflection of your one and many-faceted Self in your hands. Once you have a dozen cards or so, you can do consultations or readings with them. It's quite astounding how our own psyche loves this process of dialoguing with images. The SoulCollage® process was designed by Seena Frost, MS, MA in Div., a psychotherapy clinician and supervisor in California for over thirty years. The international community now includes more than 3,700 Facilitators in 45 countries, and a team of SoulCollage®  trainers who offer training programs all over the world.  

Caretaker Card

What I’ve learned from this unique creative process is that the body uses metaphor and images to send us signals. Sometimes working with images is a more direct path to seeing our own truth than working with words. We all have our own personal totems, images, symbolic animals, and SoulCollage® helps us feed the feedback loop between psyche, body and mind. It’s a fun, creative process that is very light on the surface, as we cut and paste images, but leads us to deep truths that resist interpretation by the linear mind. We learn to trust our intuition, the bridge that connects what we feel and what we know sometimes in a flash: mental logic and heart wisdom come together and communicate.

“When the soul wants to experience something,

she throws out an image in front of her and

steps into it.” Meister Eckhart

The voice of our embodied soul, or wisdom, is our intuition. It sends messages in symbolic form and metaphor from deep inside us – thoughts, guesses, hunches seemingly come out of nowhere. When we are in touch with our inner guidance, and feeling connected to our own truth, we can heal a relationship with ourselves that has been aching to be known. Images are one of intuition’s most powerful voices, and have been called the food of the soul.

SoulCollage(R) card: Woman Dances with Wolves

“Ultimately, it is the voice of the soul... When you take the time to draw on your listening-imagination, you will begin to hear this gentle voice at the heart of your life. It is deeper and surer than all the other voices of disappointment, unease, self-criticism and bleakness. All holiness is about learning to hear the voice of your own soul. Your soul is your true source and a new energy and passion awakens in you.” ~John O’Donohue, Beauty, The Invisible Embrace

I invite you to come and learn more about SoulCollage® in a safe and friendly environment, at an all-day introductory workshop Sunday April 7, with a small group of people (maximum is 10). 

We will spend time making cards, playing with images, and witnessing how our intuition guides us to exactly the right image for the card it wants to make. You are a unique being, and your soul essence is waiting to reveal some of the pieces of your puzzle to you, so you can begin to gather the whole.

As Seena Frost, SoulCollage® founder puts it, “Every soul essence has a special imprint or pattern within it; some have said it’s like our mission. This pattern is a blueprint for your deepest self, the self beneath the persona we all must develop to live in the world. Its imprint is recognized by the archetypes who gather and who act like magnets drawing you into manifesting your pattern; remember, it’s not a goal, it’s more of a map, a map of your potential, uniquely yours.” 

If you are feeling stuck or overwhelmed, or just curious about all the parts of you, this creative, fun process can help move you along to a deeper understanding.

Come join me, Sunday, April 7, Ermitage Ste-Croix, from 9:30 am to 4:30 pm, with lunch included, for $60. If you invite a friend, I will gift you with a package of cards/frame/pen and glue so you can get started with SoulCollage® and discover your own inner wisdom. Register at: 

www.jenniferboire.com

NOTE ON FACILITATOR TRAINING-   If you already love SoulCollage® and would like to train as a facilitator, read this:

The Facilitator Training is different from a SoulCollage® retreat or workshop, even though in both settings a participant may experience deep personal process.  We expect that you are interested in taking the Training because SoulCollage® has been meaningful to you in your own process, and you are eager to share SoulCollage®, even if you are not clear just how you will be doing that. Many people become clear about how they will use SoulCollage® during or even after Training.

SoulCollage® has also proven to be a valuable therapeutic tool when used by therapists and professionals as a part of their practice.

See https://www.soulcollage.com/facilitator-training  for more information on what is required before you sign up. 

I am holding a training in the Montreal area from July 3-July 7, 2019. See my website www.jenniferboire.com for details and costs.