and watching Prem Rawat's New Year's message on Timeless Today https://www.timelesstoday.com/
What is my focus on, he asks, something lasting? how to hook up to the real joy and prosperity
Is my focus on how to be fulfilled?
After an intense training session this morning, followed by a thirty minute Thai massage which targets my very sore shoulders and neck, I realize this armour that is being broken down, painfully, comes with a harsh attitude towards myself. I push myself harder than I need to, out of this fear in me of not being "enough", not a good enough writer, or a good enough house cleaner, or dog owner, or parent.
This shoulder pain is a good teacher.
It says, ease up on yourself. Stop thinking everything is urgent.
Stop the hypervigilante mode, breathe, relax.
Start paying attention to how full you feel.
Start being fulfilled, not with the things you buy, the things you decorate your home with, the things you feel you need to get by.
Just be fulfilled, with life, with existence.
I am pressing the Start button now.
I am pressing the Easy button now, today.
I am lifting this armour off my shoulders, bit by heavy bit.
Serenity begins with me.