Meditate on your Heart Month

February is Heart Month

I'm going to write more about what opening into heart awareness means for me, as I did in my monthly newsletter for my website (sign up at www.jenniferboire.com),
but for the moment, here's something I found on Facebook, with some lovely music and visuals to help you focus and breathe through your heart.

http://chandinilove.tumblr.com/


Namaste,
Musemother

Getting through it: Menopausal Minefield

How did I survive it, I wonder sometimes? Looking back at the time I spent in sleepless nights, feeling like I was going crazy, weeping in my bedroom or lashing out at my teenagers with impatience, feeling far away from my husband and just generally, not 'myself'; it feels like the long period leading up to menopause was a dangerous minefield.

What helped me through it? lots of different things - Promensil, a little red clover pill I got at the pharmacy, suggested by a woman friend a few years older, prevented hot flashes and melt-downs of heat. I know some women like to call them Power Surges but I could do without those, thank you very much.

There were ups and also Down times - I remember seeing a counselor for about a year, for talk therapy and anger issues. I didn't like the little explosions, the unexpected blowing up at my kids and spouse. Therapy took a few layers of defensive stuff off (and helped the shoulders), and gave me some practical tips for getting help and not burning out, but after going over the same childhood territory, sad, lonely teen with a chip on her shoulder from being little mother to her siblings, alcoholic mother, workaholic dad, etc etc, it was getting a little repetitive, so next I saw a Reiki therapist who also did reflexology and gave me very sound advice about how being a Mom, flipped upside down, was WoW. Energy work of any kind, cranial sacral, reiki, osteopathy, are all very healing.

I must have seen four different homeopaths and naturopaths, looking for the perfect mind-body health solution. It wasn't only menopause, but those aches and pains at mid-life - who ever heard of bursitis before age 45? or basal cell carcinoma? I also had a frozen shoulder from too much working on a laptop computer. Still bothers me, but an osteopath (saw several actually, before I found "the one") helped me unfreeze it, as the whole collar bone and neck was affected. There were nights when only a heating pad could help the pain.

Hmm, diet wise, a naturopath helped me discover low iodine was a problem for my thyroid, and the tendency to wallow in depression lifted. Losing the gluten was a miracle, discovered after a month-long diet where you remove things, one at a time, first no red meat, then no chicken, then no eggs or cheese, til finally I was eating rice and veggies only, with some rice protein powder smoothies. All those joint aches and pains, weeping sessions, weight gain and mood swings were not from menopause and aging, but from a gluten intolerance.

Low libido and sex life - this minefield is more slippery - pardon the pun - it goes up and down, and although I've taken oat tincture and Lorna whatzername's supplements, used the Ganga lubrifier and other JoyToy remedies, this one feels more like a communication issue. Still working on that one. Mostly, it's about speaking up, and allowing myself to enjoy mindless pleasure. Go figure!

Yoga and meditation were my constant companions, and still are. There is just no way to find inner peace and balance without them, for me. That and journal writing have helped me negotiate the mine-fields and not get blown up in the process.

The skies are clearing now, the storm clouds mostly gone, and blessed be, my kids are studying in two different cities, so my alone time and hermit needs are more frequently fulfilled. I am so loving leading Creative Journaling and SoulCollage(R) classes, and discovering the company of other women on the journey. And now it's my husband's turn to navigate the mid-life minefields (he's growing a beard).

take good care now, and if you want to learn more about the peri-menopausal journey and self-care, look for The Tao of Turning Fifty, on my website or at amazon.com
Musemother/jenn

Stress and the Mid-Life Woman

I'm so glad I'm not the only one eating whole bags of potato chips! yes, according to Women's Health Mag editors, here's what women turn to when we're stressed or under duress:

- Nutella or peanut butter straight from the jar - (guilty as charged)
- a whole bag of Oreos
- a whole pint of HaggenDaz ice-cream http://www.haagendazs.com/
- a pound of Twizzlers
- sprinkles by the spoonful (nuh-uh)
- a dozen ready-bake cinnamon rolls (baked!)
- chocolate in any form
- booze
- a bag of potato chips

(from poll and survey done by WomensHealthMag.com)

What are your favourite de-stressors?

Recently I posted a quote on my facebook page from Gail Sheehy The Silent Passage (http://www.gailsheehy.com/ about how rest and restorative relaxation are so important for women at mid-life. When I was 45, mother to two pre-teens, and running like a chicken with my head cut off from volunteer work to doctor's appointments to after-school chauffering, stress seemed to be a constant. Being in peri-menopause had a lot to do with it - juggling all my time commitments seemed more challenging and my patience seemed to wear thin more easily. Yoga and meditation were helpful, but I needed to stop pushing myself so hard. After I broke my leg skiing, at age 47, I began to take regular naps and give myself permission to rest more. With a leg in a cast, I had no choice!

So here's the thing about stress: you can eat your stress, or you can do some deep breathing exercises, take up jogging, or lie down for a nap every day between 5:30 and 6:00. So what if supper is a little later one or two nights of the week? Can you cut down on some extracurricular activities or carpool? What will make your life seem a little less crazy? Can you ask your spouse to pick up the slack?

Until I broke my leg I was doing all the errands, appointments and meal preparing, figuring that since I was working from home, it was easier on my schedule. Asking for help was hard for me, having been programmed to do it all myself, and having a strong control freak in my nature. But it was a very wise move - and it helped my husband feel more included with the kids' activities. He'd take them skiing on Saturdays while I rested with my legs up the wall, and prepared a hot meal for them and a roaring fire (while sometimes; my fire-building skills took a while to perfect).

"It is of utmost importance for any woman over forty-five, faced with high-stress professional or personal demands, to commit herself to some restorative relaxation measure. It might be biofeedback, prayer, yoga, or routine meditation. ...The single most important aid to continued health through the menopausal transition is proper rest." Gail Sheehy

by the way, I recommend this Women's Health Ultimate Yoga Guide, found at the local pharmacy. Great easy yoga moves to tone your body, food to help slim down and chill out, and more.
(womenshealthmag.com)

Being Calm and Gentle with Myself

Last June I was seeing a naturopath who heals with Chinese herbs and energy treatments. She told me my adrenal glands were depleted, and made me realize how stressed my body is, all that coritsol rushing through, all those muscular tightness issues and clenching in the jaw and shoulders – from years of working on the computer yes, but also from hunching up in fight or flight mode. Anxiety, stress, constant stimuli, parenting, work deadlines....it all adds to the body being winched up tight.


So today, I am breathing into those muscles and allowing myself to relax. I take a deep breath and tell myself, I am ok, everything is alright. I try to catch the worry wart in me before she takes over my day. Don’t we all need a break from this ‘being on edge’? Bad news, famine, war, and bombardment of tv, radio and newspapers doesn’t help me find my balance. I firmly believe that my being stressed and ready to take flight, jumpy at any noise, unable to relax does not help the world one iota.

So what can I do, what helps? Giving my family the gift of my serene presence. It's time to make it real, Jennifer. Make it a priority. Do whatever it takes to stay calm. I even bought a poster at the MOCA in LA that says Calm so I can have a visual reminder. I’m off to yoga now, and I’m sure it will help me find my calm center.

Ahh, back from yoga, and shivasana and wow, that did help me feel grounded and relaxed. I'm a much happier camper at home, with my kids when I kick the adrenaline habit, the stress addiction, the enjoyable "I'm so busy get out of my way" buzz.....

I wish that for you today, to know that it’s alright, everything is ok. Be well. Be calm.

Musemother

Deep breathing for relaxation

According to an article written by Dr. Marcelle Pick, from womentowomen.com, deep breathing is the fastest way to trigger your parasympathetic nervous system, through the relaxation response.

"Further review and analysis of research by Drs. Brown and Gerbarg resulted in the development of a new neuropsychological theory for how yogic breathing may affect the stress response system and calm the mind and body. Their recent article in Current Psychiatry shows how trained deep breathing can relieve trauma symptoms.

The sympathetic nervous system, which is stimulated in times of stress and anxiety, controls your fight or flight response, including spikes in cortisol and adrenaline that can be damaging when they persist too long."

Deep breathing is good for your blood cells, it oxygenates your body, it helps the lymphatic system drain our bodies of toxins, it helps beat anxiety and depression, as well as eating disorders. If you breathed more deeply, you could beat that fatigue that's getting you done, and clear up the mental fog. It also helps beat stress.

"As many of you know, chronic stress depletes the body of nutrients and destabilizes brain and endocrine chemistry. Depression, muscle tension and pain, insulin sensitivity, GI issues, insomnia, and adrenal fatigue among scores of other conditions are all related to an overworked sympathetic nervous system. What counteracts this mechanism? The parasympathetic nervous system.

Breath is the fastest medium by which these systems can communicate, flicking the switch from high alert to low in a matter of seconds."

"So often, women make time for everyone else, rising to meet the demands of others before they nurture themselves. Learning how to breathe more fully and deeply is a very small but vital way to honor yourself and your miraculous life. In many cultures and religions, breath is life — a divine connection to a force that binds us all to the ebb and flow of nature.

By taking a few moments in your day to really pay attention to the inhalation and exhalation that supports your life, you will slowly and surely move toward a healthier and happier place. Remember, small changes add up to big improvements — and what better way to begin than breathing?"

What better way indeed? if combined with gentle exercise like walking or yoga, you may have a winning stress-beating combination.

take care, and remember to breathe deeply,

here's the three part breath we do in yoga: (again, from Dr Pick's article, I love the womentowomen web site)

This yoga technique is very useful during times of stress, or at any time you need to relax. It is extremely relaxing and can be done before bed to assist with sleep issues.

Again, sit comfortably and close your eyes. With your mouth closed, exhale deeply through your nose. Imagine that you are pouring the breath out of a jug, starting at the top of your chest and moving down through your mid-torso and into your diaphragm. Pause for two counts at the bottom of the breath, then inhale through your nose.

Refill the “jug” slowly, counting to five (or seven if you can make it). Start at the bottom, expanding your diaphragm and belly, then your mid-torso, and lastly the top of your chest and lungs. Pause for two counts and exhale as before. Repeat 5–10 times.

There are many other ways to begin practicing healthy deep breathing. Visit the Authentic Breathing website for additional exercises and information. Your local yoga studio or health club may offer classes in breathing awareness techniques. There are many good books on the subject, including Dennis Lewis’s The Tao of Natural Breathing and Conscious Breathing, by Gay Hendricks.

nameste
musemother

A Spring Retreat for Women

CREATING SANCTUARY

BRING BALANCE AND HARMONY INTO YOUR LIFE

H-OM YOGA STUDIO

Treat yourself to a restful mini-retreat

Nurture your Self through visualization, relaxation techniques and

creative exercises (journaling, collage) plus:

Gentle yoga with Debra Leibovitch

Sunday, April 26 12:30 pm – 4:00 pm
H-OM yoga center in Hudson, 3187 Harwood
Directions: Take the 40 west; Exit #26, go right, first building on your right in a small mall

Cost: $50.00

First 4 people to register will receive a Zena Moon candle!

email jenco1@sympatico.ca to reserve

Facilitator Jennifer Boire has lead workshops and retreats at the West Island Women’s Centre

Yummy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day blog readers!

On this bright sunny day, in mid-winter, it helps to have the colour Red be celebrated, to remind us of the heart, the life-giving pulse, the source of oxygen and energy.

And what my Heart is longing for is for me to check in more often and feel what it is longing for.

One day, this week I was lying on my carpet doing some simple yoga postures and listening to Bija, a wonderfully soothing CD.

My thirst for body connectedness and a general feeling of dissatisfaction and winter blahs had lead me to reconnect with body and breath. I didn't know what else to do, since my official escape from winter is only in 2 weeks.

I lay down in the sun on my afghan carpet, soaking in heat and light through the window. It felt good to feel the heat. Let mind focus on breath and movement. Begin to feel the well filling up.

I am not willing to be separate from myself. Bring the focus inside to breath and heart, fuel the fire, the engine, with pure fuel, not garbage (newspaper, TV, books, arguments).

I feel my passivity and crankiness leave.

I feel my heart energy awaken.

I feel thought energy move from negative worry to calm.

I feel self-critical voice shushed, (this is an old habit I can unlearn).

I practice self-awareness, self-love, self-kindness.

I stretch my body and breathe into the temple, the sanctuary of compassion.

I invite all beings close to and from far, to join me in the heart temple.

At first it feels tight, because I am afraid it isn't big enough to hold everyone. Until I remember that is is not my physical heart space or the limits of my body, but the temple is in Kwan Yin's heart, as big as the Universal Heart pumping life into all our beings.

I breathe past the fear I have that if I lie here and do nothing I will turn into a mush ball and never get up and do anything productive again.

I hang out here exploring the 'nothing', this place within, with curiosity and begin to feel acceptance, instead of the ball of anxiety in my solar plexus.

I feel so tired of moving from everyone else's impulse and always responding as if I "have to", as if I am a puppet whose strings are pulled by someone else.

I feel resistance to moving this way anymore. I feel how passive I have been, how disconnected from my own passion.

Here in the heart and hearth of my new home, in a puddle of sunlit warmth, I feel content to not go outside. I feel content to not read any books on all the subjects that have enthralled me. I feel hungry for my own truth.

Where does my candle get lit from, from which fire?

Where does my energy come from, the desire to serve the world? to feel that I am/or have something to give?

I feel content to stay with the question, until the answer comes from within.

Even if I don't know anymore what the goal is, I do know it is no longer outside me.

nameste,

musemother

The feminine face of God

“Clearly, it is time to ask ourselves where we are going. And…where we are going, is back into daily life. The women…spoke not only of the need to slow down and create an opening for awareness of the sacred in our daily lives, but of the need to embody, to enact, to be a vessel of that awareness so that it flows into all our relationships.” The Feminine Face of God

Finding my own yoga practice: my breath, my belly, little egg inside the universal flow, I reach up my spine to Father sky, lay down on my back on Mother Earth. We have been such poor one-sided creatures, forgetting our mother, ignoring her power and love. Somewhere in the cosmos, our sparks and beams dance in the sacred dance of union, male and female, yin and yang, mountain and stream, ocean of light inside the belly, inner me inside of me, caress inside of me, the birth and rebirth of me. There is no life without mother birthing all her creatures. You may call her nature, earth, Gaia, you may name her virgin but she is still the source of the wet moist breath, hot blood, firm bone, waters salty and sweet, milk of life and kindness. Her lungs have blown into your mouth the air you depend on, so do not spit into the wind.

His lightning, her rain; his totem, her face; his pole, her ground; his mountain, her dance; his clouds, her wind; they breathe together in unison. Dig into the sand, it fills with water. We are matter filled with spirit. We are female infused with male, and male infused with female. Mortal infused with immortality.

Over night, love changed direction. I reached up and grabbed the wind.

Excerpted from The Tao of Turning Fifty, A Woman's Way
by jenn