Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Signs you're losing it

Do you know the signs, the signals, the symptoms, that you're doing too much, that you're about to blow up, that you need to take a break before you break down?

Sometimes we don't listen to the soft hints, the quiet interior whispers. Sometimes we feel too guilty, too responsible, too conflicted between serving others and being selfish, so we overextend and overextend until...

we have a stroke, or we break a leg, or we get a frozen shoulder, or pneumonia, or we break a hip and need a long convalescence, a much needed rest.

We all know people - I know two in the last week - to whom this has happened. And the first thing I think is, oh yes, they were so busy, they didn't know how to slow down, now they have no choice.

We do have a choice to hear the signals and symptoms from our wise bodies and react, to take care of our selves before we get hit with an illness that forces us to take good care.

What can I do, you ask? how will I know?

One of my signals is irritability. When I am overextended, or overtired, I don't even want to pat the cat. I don't want to water the plants, and I don't want to hear someone calling "mom" from down the hall. I get on edge, cranky or panic easily at small demands. When this happens, it's a signal to me to book a massage, take some much needed 'me time', make a mini-retreat one morning, spend time alone.

Another signal might be anxiety, pit of the stomach in knots all the time, no time to relax, or tight shoulders and achey neck, clenching your teeth and sore jaw, or sleepless nights thinking over and over the same problem. Flying off the handle at your kids or your boss when they make one demand too many....(they don't know you're at your limit....). NOTICE what your body does to signal to you that something is off, something is making you tense and upset.

What to do to remedy the situation: Put yourself on the agenda - don't be part of the Superwoman Club, the Women who Do Too Much and don't know how to stop and breathe - Make the time, don't want for the time to come for self-care - Write it into your schedule.

Give Yourself Permission to rest - I can't sing the praises of naps enough - they got me through menopause, and continue to be a great source of nourishment.

If you want to hear more, I am giving a lecture on THe Power of the Pause, at the Beaconsfield Library, Tuesday February 8, 7:30 pm.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Power of the Pause, intro

We live in a society that is obsessed with productivity and work. We have even banished the Sabbath or sacred rest day. We want material goods and professional success and we are willing to work like crazy to get it. But at what price?

Listen to the nerve-brain-Crunch of constantly being connected to twitter facebook instant messaging, texting, blackberry - crackberry..... The saying “we are all connected” is used in the Ecological movement as a metaphor for our need to take care of the planet and each other – but what we are more likely to be connected to is the super highway of Information on the internet and constant feeling of pressure, of 24/7 work and less play or down time. Increased access and speed of information coming to us increases our expectations of absolute productivity. Our response time has come down to immediate or instant, we have lost the impulse or the know-how to Pause and Rest – there is no more Sabbath, no ‘day off’ of our Instant Connection to Everything.

In the larger picture, all this 100% Connection to Information and all work no play, is the path to Burn-Out and Exhaustion. And that is what is worrisome.

Busy is the new "fine" - we are proud to be busy.

But the cost to our selves is high.

Stay tuned for more about The Power of the Pause, Lecture at Beaconsfield Library, Tuesday, February 8, 7:30 pm.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I will be gentle with myself

here's a lovely video and song by Karen Drucker
found on youtube. I have her music on a Retreat CD put together for A Woman's Way (Karen Ely) and it is full of gems like this one. You can order it on-line at

Saturday, January 01, 2011

A New Year's Wish

Close your eyes, make a wish.
Something true.
Something that feels good.
Something that carries you above fear.
Something that helps your heart breathe a little.
Something that makes your toes tingle and your fingers giggle.
Something small and doable.
Something you won't go back on.
Something you love to feel, always.
Something you already are, underneath.

Ok, what is it?

Write it down in the present tense as if you are already living it.

I am feeling peaceful and light in my whole being.
I lighten up and release old hurts.

Repeat it three times every morning to yourself as you look in the mirror.

My wish for you in 2011 is that you believe it will come true.