Welcome to 2012

Ok, you've received them too, a slew of Happy New Year pictures and copies of articles on Resolutions or Non-resolutions...getting a wee bit tired of hearing how it's all going to change in this new year. First off, I just got back from five days away, so naturally, the first thing on my list is laundry.

Actually, the first thing on my list today was Clearing Space, and decluttering, which includes emptying suitcases and washing clothes, but more importantly, clearing the mental space I need to begin my day.

Lucky me, I got to sleep in, unlike J who had to leave for work at 7:00 a.m. But instead of waking up to a cranky day of dust and decay, I decided to dust off the soul space. Listening to a CD with Ram chant helped heal my scattered cells and bring center back into focus.  I knelt on the floor and placed the crown of my head on the rug at the end of my yoga stretches, surrendered to peace. Ah, breath fills my lungs and muscles feel more serene, less antsy. Feel the well fill up again after busy dizzy streets of NY, colourful restaurants and French cooking, crazy fun in the city with our kids and friends. Back to ice on the lake, sun sparkling on frozen space out my window and sweet silence filling the air around my eardrums.

This is how my New Year begins.  Usher in the tranquility, release sadness, cranky moods and overwhelm.
Dust off the list of things to do and pick one or two things that really need my attention.

When the brain tires of firing up its 305 million circuits and synapses, it seeks its common denominator, the Anti-dote to stress and confusion, the One singular bell that rings a clear note.....ummmm, I like that. Re-balanced, I stand, two bare feet on the carpet, bent over, looking at my toes, soft chant on the stereo, a mother-lode of reverence.

Then up and on to the day: delete the 250 emails that accumulate while away, send in revisions for my book, delete delete the distractions that divide my attention.

Quiet the loud clanging of commerce and daily bickering over who has more than me - a bigger room, child, cow, wife, necklace, pot of gold, book sales, glass of wine, more facebook likes....

I am not going to plan for the future, at least not today. Today, I begin with rest and Decluttering.
amen,
jenn

Power of the Pause, intro

We live in a society that is obsessed with productivity and work. We have even banished the Sabbath or sacred rest day. We want material goods and professional success and we are willing to work like crazy to get it. But at what price?

Listen to the nerve-brain-Crunch of constantly being connected to twitter facebook instant messaging, texting, blackberry - crackberry..... The saying “we are all connected” is used in the Ecological movement as a metaphor for our need to take care of the planet and each other – but what we are more likely to be connected to is the super highway of Information on the internet and constant feeling of pressure, of 24/7 work and less play or down time. Increased access and speed of information coming to us increases our expectations of absolute productivity. Our response time has come down to immediate or instant, we have lost the impulse or the know-how to Pause and Rest – there is no more Sabbath, no ‘day off’ of our Instant Connection to Everything.

In the larger picture, all this 100% Connection to Information and all work no play, is the path to Burn-Out and Exhaustion. And that is what is worrisome.

Busy is the new "fine" - we are proud to be busy.

But the cost to our selves is high.

Stay tuned for more about The Power of the Pause, Lecture at Beaconsfield Library, Tuesday, February 8, 7:30 pm.
Jennifer

The Ragged Edge of Modern Life

Here we are on the eve of Christmas, wrapping presents, running to the Pharmaprix for last minute stocking gifts because we just realized Janie has 2 more than Johnnie, and forgot about the cat and the dog's stockings....

awakening from a short sleep because of partying with neighbours the night before, more tired than yesterday...

sex is just a dream you had the other night, it didn't actually happen....

too pooped to coop, and forever catching up with more caffeine, and weary to the bone.

What do the latest health studies call this?  Adrenal fatigue syndrome (or another name for burnout according to an article in Vogue's December issue, the reason I bought the magazine, called The Ragged Edge). http://www.vogue.com/

We are all plugged in more than ever, and our nerves are over stimulated and 'hypertweeted'. Not only mid-life women are being treated for stress-related illnesses, but women in mid-life are particularly vulnerable. "When we're under ling-term stress, our adrenal glands continually churn out high levels of the hormone cortisol. Eventually the adrenals can't sustain that level of activation, cortisol levels plummet, and our body can no longer respond effectively to stress." Dr. Amy Saltzman, M.D. in Menlo Park California, Vogue December issue 2009.

I've blogged about adrenal fatigue on ms menopause blog (http://www.msmenopause.blogspot.com/) and there are wonderful articles at http://www.womentowomen.com/ on this subject.

It's a bit like having the fight or flight option on your adrenal glands always on 'on'.  We wear ourselves down by the constant beep of the phone, computer, email, blackberry, calling us to action.  Everything feels like an emergency when you are always rushing, or addicted to the adrenaline fix, as Cheryl Richardson calls it in her book The Art of Extreme Self-Care.  It's difficult to unhook ourselves from being always reachable, always available, yet it causes a severe attention deficit as we try to multi-task our way through our days, dealing with clients emails, stirring the stew pot on the stove, helping Janie with her homework and catching the 6:00 news on TV at the same time.

What if you use this holiday as a real unplugged vacation?  Go somewhere where there is no internet.  Unplug the computer and the phone, and just sit in front of the fire unwrapping presents and sipping hot chocolate, or even better, get outside and get some physical activity, skiing, snowshoeing, swimiming (if you live in Hawaii or Australia).

Get lots of Vitamin B, fish oil land asian ginsent. Eat well, rest, and devote at least a little bit of time every day to doing nothing - be that by watching your breath, sitting in zen meditation or looking out the window at the amazing changes in the sky moment by moment.

Happy Holidays, Happy Restfulness,
May the new year bring you permission to feel more serenity, tranquility and love,

musemother/jenn

Running on Empty, Kicking the Adrenaline habit

Recently while researching relaxation exercises for my class, I came across The Art of Extreme Self-Care, by Cheryl Richardson. I had not read her before, and found the book extremely beneficial. Here are a few tips excerpted from it, adapted by me:

Let go of being General Manager of the Universe – or the Overarching Boss of Everything. Be open to receiving help, and to asking for help when you need it. This models good behaviour for your children, releases resentment at having to ‘do it all’, and lifts the weight of the world off your shoulders. (I had to break my leg before I accepted that I couldn’t do it all alone, and asked my husband for help. Don’t wait for that to happen!)

Make a list of What You Can Do to support me, and decide together where you will leave it for family members or spouse to find it. You will have to let go of controlling how and when it is done, and be ready to accept their way of doing things. Folding laundry, emptying the dishwasher, chopping veggies for supper, feeding the cats - start with the small things.

Make an Absolute No List: for instance, I no longer rush,. I no longer start the day without meditation or yoga; I no longer keep anything in my home that I don’t need or want.

Turn down the Noise in Your Life: protect your sensitivity with silence; limit your exposure to bad news on TV, in newspapers, on the radio.

Alongside the tips for Self-care on the bookshelf was Take Time for Your Life, also by the same author. In it is an exercise or little quiz to find out if you are an adrenaline junkie, plus some tips for kicking the adrenaline habit:

Kicking the Adrenaline Habit: (fight or flight syndrome)

Living on the next adrenaline rush creates a constant hum of anxiety in the body and ultimately exhausts you. Check the following statements to find out if this applies to you:

- Do you repeatedly check your email or voice mail throughout the day?
- Do you put things off to the last minute, use tight deadlines to get things done?
- Do you frequently speed when driving?
- Do you always feel pressed for time?
- Do you juggle several projects at once?
- Do you wake in the middle of the night, with thoughts racing, unable to sleep?
- Do you often forget to follow through on commitments?
- Do you double-book social engagements or appointments?
- Are you usually late for appointments?

Helpful pointers: (and note that it’s a hard habit to break)

Arrive 15 minutes early for every appointment. Write it in your agenda for earlier, and block out more time between appointments.

Stop trying to cram several things into one small space of time. This causes stress and is inefficient.

Adopt a regular Relaxation Practice on a daily basis, i.e. take a long bath with candles and music; Hang a Do Not Disturb sign on the door; Listen to guided relaxation tape before bed;

Eliminate interruptions and distractions by turning ringer off the phone, turning off the TV, putting your number on the Do Not Call list (telemarketers won’t call), clear up junk and visual clutter from your relaxation space.

Do Not Spread yourself too thin. Learn to say No and disappoint people, gently.

Be prepared for feeling antsy or bored as you shift to a calm, peaceful energy from rushing all the time. If you feel uncomfortable, you’re on the right track. Adrenaline keeps you disconnected from your feelings, the thing that makes life rich.

Most importantly, get support from a coach, friends, or group (ie women’s circle or class).

have a peaceful day,
musemother

Breathing Deep

The phone rings, you jump out of bed, before you're even dressed or showered there is the list of things to do, the daily monster.

You hop on the computer, read your emails, remember you haven't fed the cats, run downstairs.

Have a cup of tea, throw some waffles in the toaster, run back to answer that email you left open.

Once back upstairs, you see yourself in the mirror, hair uncombed, pyjamas on, and remember you wanted to do some yoga before you started your day. It's already 9:30 a.m. The day began a long time ago.

Sigh.....in the middle of my 'to do' list and the course work I want to write about, there is also the weekly blog. And I have no new insights or inspiration this afternoon, (what, already 2:00 pm?) except that life is flying by to quickly. I did stop and do some yoga and some breathing work, because my stomach was tight and achy and anxiety was kicking in.

The only remedy I know is the STOP technique. Stop, think, organize and proceed. When I get too panicky and running wild and scattered, it's hard to feel satisfied at the end of the day. Better to stop, breathe, find my center, and flow with the universe once again.

The list is like a genie, threatening to cut your head off if you don't give it another command - Do this, make that, call here, go there. It keeps us running all day. Keep the genie busy climbing the pole of your breath, up and down, while you get the real work done.

So breathe deeply, friends, that's my clue for today.

musemother