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Friday, February 13, 2015

10 ways to practice Self-Love, on Valentine’s Day or Every Day


As a Scorpio, eldest daughter and born Caretaker (I found this out at www.archetypes.com), I am often great at giving out advice but not so great at doing it myself. This list reminds me how important it is to fill my own well so I can share the love with those around me.

1.      Stop, listen, pay attention: I love the acronym for PAIN. Pay Attention Inside Now. How do you feel? What are you missing right now? Where does something not feel right? Where do you feel awesome? Noticing how you feel is the first step to taking action.

2.      Body Love: Honour the body’s messengers/guidance: those signals are popping up to help you. Don’t put it off. For instance, if you’re tired, take a short nap. If you’re hungry, make yourself a healthy snack or smoothie; if you’re stressed, take a stretch break and breathe. Don’t make excuses; love yourself by listening to the body’s messages.

3.      Loving TLC - Pamper yourself: this is not selfish. You can’t feed the world from an empty well. Need a mental health day? Give yourself permission to lounge and relax, read a book in bed all day. Or if this is difficult, book a massage. Get your hair or nails prettified; buy yourself a bunch of yellow tulips. Mid-February can be pretty bleak, so add some color to your life.

4.      Free to be me Love - Do something silly only you love to do: jump on the bed and giggle, convince a friend, sibling or partner to go sliding with you (even if you hate the cold, get out and play). Make a chocolate fondue and smear chocolate all over your fingers then lick them clean.

5.      Funny Love - Loosen up and laugh more: find a funny movie you haven’t watched in years, make it as corny as you can find, The Three Stooges or Maxwell Smart, something you used to love as a kid that will tickle your funny bone.

6.      Friend Love: call a friend you haven’t spoken to in over a month – we get so busy, we forget that a long talk with a close friend can open the heart; not a text, Facebook message or email – a real heart to heart in person or on the phone, if possible. If they live far away, surprise them with a Skype call.

7.      Creative Love: give yourself a creative break today. I love Sark’s book Succulent Wild Woman - she recommends staying in bed in your jammies and colouring with pens or crayons. Getting your creative flow on is a surefire mood booster. If you haven’t gotten your paints out for a while, set up the easel in the kitchen and make a mess. Do some collage, if you want something simple – all you need is glue, scissors and a few magazines. Get in the Flow; you’ll love yourself for doing it. As Sark says: Live like a full cup of self love, sharing the overflow with the world.

8.      Soulful Love - Pray/write/dialogue with your Soul: Don’t have a soul mate? Your soul or inner voice would love to speak with you. Author Janet Connor of Writing down your Soul, suggests that you just lay it all out in your journal – what you’re feeling, a dilemma you’re in, a challenge facing you – then let your inner voice respond with what is sure to be wise words. I love using this journaling tool to access my inner wisdom.

9.      Full Body Love: look at yourself in the mirror and see past the crow’s feet, the crooked eyebrows and the shadows under your eyes – see past the flaws, don’t curse them. Bless them! Say out loud while gazing into your right eyeball. I love you! I will cherish and love you all the days of my life. To help you with this, put on John Legend’s gorgeous song: All of Me.

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections


10.   Ultimate Self-Love Party: strip naked, in front of a full-length mirror and touch with a loving touch every part of your body that needs some extra attention or love right now. Unhappy with your thighs? Touch them with loving thoughts. Saggy underarms? Touch them with love. Purposefully ignore the self-hate and ride over it with the voice of your Inner Best Friend, and again, sing All of Me: Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections… Remember, what you curse falters, and what you bless, flourishes.

Bonus points: a little sexy self-loving can’t hurt – get out your rose smelling almond oil and an inspiring book (Deep Down or 50 Shades of Grey) and play with your partner or your pillow!


Find the time and space to be your own best lover this Valentine’s. Don’t get caught up in the cliché of red roses and chocolate hearts: you deserve to love yourself, today, and every day.

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