Friday, September 09, 2016

Living Selfishly: Circling the Self

A friend and mentor just pointed out to me today that selfish means: circling the self.

Why is it so hard to give myself (ourselves) what I/we need?

The body aches, or is hungry or tired, or the brain hurts, and we are just plain exhausted, yet we keep on keeping on. We are built for struggle, it seems, not ease. Feel uncomfortable giving ourselves comfort. It feels selfish!

I can only speak for myself. This has been a year of struggle between my Hermit Self and my Productive self. Lately, in my collages and art, I see a weary circling, a need for rest, and a strong determination to continue, both at the same time.  I am determined to make my Voice matter. I am weary of marketing, promoting, and pushing myself "out there", wherever that is. That "self" wants to stand up and be counted, but she's tired of figuring out ways to do it and longs for Solitude to muse in.

I feel the urge to communicate, to have deep conversations about what really matters, to connect soul to soul with creative, conscious others and I feel the call to rest and meditate and do yoga. That sense of connection will be renewed soon, with my women's circle which has been on hiatus all summer,  starting up again next week, yeah!

It is always about me circling the Self, wanting to nourish it, give it some real food. And it's about your circling your Self. It is me sending out feelings, emotions, information to others around me, and me also receiving information, emotions and feelings back. Choosing to hit cancel, delete, or Save and savour.

Right now, I'm offering an online class, but no local in-person classes. After ten years of facilitating workshops and retreats, maybe something is shifting. I'm paying more attention to my own needs, and SoulCollage(R) has helped reveal the parts of self that need nourishing. that Hermit self will not be ignored! (Using a creative process like SoulCollage(R) has been a revelation to me).

This year that I've dedicated to vision questing with mythos journey and Cat Caracelo, this year of living selfishly, is starting to affect my conscious choices. The needs start as a little whimper of complaint, or a burble of joy, or a simmering of hushed energy that I can't name yet. Then I put pen to paper, or pastel to art journal or glue to image, and voila, something flows creatively from Source and names itself.

So circling the Self, I am learning about this human life, this humanity, its gold mornings and darkish nights. Its greedy off-kilter face-stuffing addictive behaviors, its child-like wonder, its magical and musical delights.  I am all these. I am none of these. I am enjoying my many creative circles where I can share with other like-minded women on-line.

Mid-life is a time of transition and learning about sacred selfishness. I am working on an e-book by that title in fact, some tips for soulful self-care for body and soul. Something I want to give away to anyone who reads this blog, signs up for the newsletter or takes a class with me. I'll let you know when it's ready!

Just a little bit of giveaway to help you be more selfish! In a good way, of course.

Her Journey: The Heroine's Quest at Mid-Life begins on-line, and with a weekly conference call, Wed Oct 12. See my website for more details and description.

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