In my bottom drawer, underneath the silky pyjamas I hardly wear and some old bathing suits, I have a great pin-on button that says I love my Menopause: J'aime ma menopause! A while ago, I attached it to a small round leopard skin pillbox hat. When I put on my matching long gloves, and wear my pointy fake leopard skin glasses, I transform into my alter-ego, Ms Menopause.
Watch for her appearance in a neighborhood near you.
What does she do? she brings you good news, that menopause is a blessing, not a curse.
She brings red candles and red costume jewellery in scarlet gift bags for women celebrating their Crone-dom at a menopause party.
She bakes cupcakes and decorates them with red icing and big hearts! If you're lucky she'll organize a potluck lunch and sing Happy Crone's Day to you.
She tells bawdy jokes and helps women laugh about their sweaty nightgowns and faulty thermostats.
She dresses up as Ishtar,Queen of Heaven at the full moon and lies on her lounger while other women have their monthly periods, encouraging them to take the day off.
She reminds us to breathe from the belly and not get our knickers in a knot when patience wears thin.
She carries around a bag of nettle tea, oatstraw and black cohosh to bring harmony into our hormones.
Ms Menopause is a only a figment of my imagination, but I think she would do good things in the world.
Remember, what you resist will persist. What you bless flourishes, what you curse falters. Don't look at your body in the mirror and tell yourself how flabby you're getting or how wide your thighs are spreading. Love every inch of this amazing body from Venus.
More thoughts and a new blog when I return from the ocean,
musemother alias ms menopause