menopause and intuition

it is the most heartening discovery of all, to know that we can actually prepare for menopause. We can use the allies of stillness, softness, serenity and surrender to get closer to our own reality.

I always wondered what intuition was, and most of the time I think I have a knack for it. But sadly, most of the time I am moving too fast to pay attention, pushing myself forward, belting my own back with push strive get going don't rest keep moving kind of messages. Ignoring the sad little voice that says, wait a minute, what about my rhythm, my pacing, my needs? You know that the hardest thing for a woman to do is go pee when she has to? there is always something else to finish first. Multi-tasking is dangerous in menopause, there are bones to break, muscles to twist, but I insist on multitudinous activities - can't cross the kitchen without one more thing in my hand to put away, in spite of sore shoulders I still carry in two heavy bags from the car, instead of making 2 trips.

So, slowing down is a challenge. But when you know the rewards - it's so gratifying, to find your hunches are right, and you stay put and things come to you when you need them. The phone rings, your appointment has been cancelled (that was one too many things in your day) or the delivery has been rescheduled till Monday (yes! I can stay in and finish reading that article).

I found the above paragraphs on a previous blog from earlier this year, and after spending a week settling in to a new house, busy running up and down, up and down, all day, answering phone, email, meeting with insurance evaluators, municipal evaluators, computer service guy, cleaning ladies, and receiving deliveries today, it was good to be reminded that the still, small voice within is still there.

Sigh,
jenn/musemother

moving madness and emptying the nest

For your info, we are moving next Monday, so my office has been packed away into a multitude of boxes too heavy to lift (full of books). My good friend Shelley helped me pack on Friday, or it might have taken me a week just to finish the office. I start reading stuff, deciding whether to throw or keep or recycle......I still have essays from my BA at Concordia (belatedly returned to school in 1986, graduated 1996 with an MA in English).

The house is looking very disorganized with piles of stuff and boxes half open everywhere, as I flit from room to room. I think the best part is finding old kid's drawings or pictures of them in pre-school, and not being able to remember that far back. Was it only 12 years ago we moved here? Now they're bigger than me, and choosing careers, off to university soon (not yet, though, not yet!). A big dose of nostalgia in all these boxes....and a lot of the past to let go of. That seems to be a theme, ever since Kripalu weekend with Marcela Lobos, cutting away the past, letting go of negativity, welcoming the present; welcoming joy. I'm surprised by how joyful I feel about this move.


Three of my sisters came up from Ottawa on Friday to help me pack, (first we sang a lot, and drank a few bottles of wine).... and it's been very comforting to have help, something I never would have asked for, if people hadn't offered. A 5-bedroom house one has lived in for 12 years, and grown 2 kids in collects alot of 'stuff'. The theme is 'empty empty empty' and that's what we're doing - Nova and la Fondation Quebecois, plus a few nephews and nieces are inheriting what can be reused. It's good to know that as we are ending that 'childhood and baby' phase, they are just preparing their nests for future little ones.

Speaking of little ones, I think the cats are starting to wonder if we've taken leave of our senses.....and perhaps they will have a hard time getting used to the new place, so we'll have to keep them indoors for a few days. They love this house, this yard, this cedar hedge full of birds.
We loved it too. The only reason we are moving is for an excellent view of the water and sky....otherwise we would have stayed put. Except for the lake, the cedar shingles, the calmness of the sky in the morning mist. I guess this is a rite of passage too, this letting go of one phase of parenting and where we lived it out, and welcoming the new phase, (almost empty nesters).

So, pardon my absence for a while from this blog, I'll be taping, stuffing, dragging, and re-organizing in the new place until next week......and back at ya, sometime in November.

hasta la vista,
jenn/musemother