Losing mojo and finding your jomo

Have you had your fill of holidays yet? I have just had two gloriously quiet days without travel or parties, and I begin to feel like my normal, calm self for the first time. 

Here's how it went for me between Dec 20 and 27: tired and stressed after a week of Christmas parties, travelling to join 20 family members, cooking, shopping and going to bed past midnight with liberal amounts of imbibing, I lay in my darkened room two days ago and tried to summon the energy to envision my goals for 2014. I was thinking about the book I need to promote, classes to prepare, lectures and retreats to imagine, but nothing new or creative was coming to me. It felt like I had lost my mojo.

I always forget in times like these that the simplest solution is close at hand –  what restores me is usually not anywhere far away, but right here. So I lit a candle, put on some soothing music, drew a hot bath, and afterwards got out my drawing pad and coloured crayons. Voila! The mood switched from lost mojo to finding jomo. (I just learned this little acronym for Joy of Missing Out.) You too can find the joy of withdrawing from too-much activity (and not feeling like you're missing out) especially if it’s still a holiday for you, by exploring the power of doing nothing.

Doing nothing in my case, usually means doing something simple like stretching into a yoga pose, listening to Zen flute music, getting out my journal to write; in other words, it’s not nothing, but it’s no thing that serves any other purpose than just fine tuning my soul. It isn’t productive in the normal sense of serving others or getting ‘things’ on my list done. So it feels like I’m doing nothing.

Really what I am accomplishing is very valuable and healing. I am resetting my inner compass. I am setting my inner clock to my body’s rhythm, my  need for quiet and peace after a hectic week. I purposefully create some sacred space to muse in, to reconnect with my heart, which has become unplugged due to over activity and the extreme sport of mothering (meaning, Overarching Boss of Everything just took over). This usually happens when my grown kids arrive back home for the holidays, or when the house is full of family and friends and I'm busy preparing meals. I begin to see a pattern….

I am not indispensable, however, and so I told my husband (who was at home that day too), that the bedroom was becoming my retreat space and out of bounds for a few hours. He took the hint and ran himself a hot bath. Ah, my good intentions are rubbing off on him too. I also knew my 20-somethings could fend for themselves in the kitchen, and no one would starve for one day.

Speaking of good intentions, part of my conundrum and lost mojo was thinking that since it’s the new year I should be stating some goals, envisioning a plan, putting action items on my year’s to do list. But this felt too heavy to even contemplate. I was tired, burned-out from all that ‘doing’, and my brain felt too sore to envision anything beyond a nap.

So I did take a long nap just before dusk, and put off the envisioning to another day. Later,  while on Facebook, I discovered a quote that reaffirmed the power of listening in gently to where life leads us (plus I threw my own SoulCollage card reading, and the message was, Surrender to a Higher power, trust and let go….so I decided to follow that sage advice). 

"It's far more creative to work with the idea of mindfulness rather than the idea of will. Too often people try to change their lives by using the will as a kind of hammer to beat their life into proper shape. The intellect identifies the goal of the program, and the will accordingly forces the life into that shape. This way of approaching the sacredness of one's own presence is externalist and violent. It brings you falsely outside yourself, and you can spend years lost in the wilderness of your own mechanical, spiritual programs. You can perish in a famine of 

your own making.

If you work with a different rhythm you will come easily and naturally home to yourself. The soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey."   by John O'Donohue, Anam Cara 

SoulCollage card: Mercy and Compassion

Let yourself enter 2014 gently, without forcing your life into some preconceived shape. Allow your soul to guide you with its inner GPS. In other words, listen in to your wise inner self.

Happy End of 2013, and beginning of 2014, Year of the Compassionate Horse. May it bring kindness and contentment to you.

xxxxxooooo

Musemother

The Gift of Stillness in the Midst of Chaos

“Art,” wrote Saul Bellow, “has something to do with the achievement of stillness in the midst of chaos… an arrest of attention in the midst of distraction.” quoted from World Enough and Time by Christian McEwen.

Thanks to Suzie Banks Baum, for introducing me to Gwarlingo, who posted an article about Christian McEwen and her wonderful, inspiring book, and thanks to Michelle at Gwarlingo for reminding me again this morning in her newsletter about the importance of finding stillness in the chaos.

It's not even Christmas yet, and we've had two big Christmas parties, one with friends and neighbours, one with family, some of whom drove 10 hours to come and be with us in a pre-Noel party.

It is always wonderful to be with close family, see the new babies and rock them to sleep on my knee, cook comfort food for the guests, and as this was a potluck Shepherd's Pie party, with champagne, the preparation was only getting the house ready and getting out a few dips and snacks.

But in the days after, with a scattered brain and nervous edginess that linger, I am needing to find the stillness again. This is my challenge in the coming 12 days of Christmas....

My kids are both home now, the house is more full of their presence and good-natured helping out (yes, after age 20, they do become human again). I love that they love this home, the full fridge, food appearing on demand, warm blankets and all the amenities of "home". 

So I'll be nurturing and providing for the family, as well as wrapping presents and stuffing stockings, and my reading and writing time will be curtailed. The SoulCollage cards sit in their special bag, keeping each other company, but far from my eyes. The only 'art' I create will be my presence, what I choose to speak, or write in a card perhaps. This heartfull presence needs nurture and care. I felt it ebb very low yesterday, and this morning I sat a bit longer in meditation, needful, and mindful of filling the well.

I wish you that awareness, and a few moments of stillness in the coming celebrations. Take a moment to watch the ducks fly by the window, or the cardinals in the cedar. Step outdoors and look up at the cloud formations or the night stars. Breathe a little peace into your day, into your heart. And know that in the slowing down of the season, the winter darkness, our bodies too need more rest and stillness. Try and find that, if you can, and make peace with the need to be still.


happy Solstice
Jenn/Musemother
ps there is a free sample of a meditation from my Relaxation CD on my website at www.jenniferboire.com

Ten Ways To Reduce Holiday Stress

It's countdown time - less than two weeks until December 25. How can you enjoy yourself during this mad rush to get all the shopping, baking, cooking, wrapping, parties etc done? Start here:

1. Remember, you’re only human; discover on-line shopping. Get it delivered.
2. Trying to be everywhere at once is impossible. Do one thing at a time.
3. Relax and breathe; be happy with getting less done in one day.
4. Enlist the elves and ask for help: don’t allow yourself to be spread too thin.
5. Rediscover the word "no" and say it meaningfully.
6. Make space for yourself on the agenda, and not just a pedicure.
7. Allow yourself some down time to do nothing when you need to.
8. How can you make “less is more” work for you?
9. Simplify, re-use, re-gift; scale down the celebration.
10. Never compare or contrast yourself with what your best friend is doing. This is your Holiday Time.

"You do not owe anyone your time. When you realize that, others will respect your time much more." – Martha Beck. 

Inspired by a list found on the Flourishing Woman.com

Happy Holidays

Jenn/musemother

Holiday peace

Hre it is, the five minutes break in the middle of the afternoon, when I pause from writing Christmas cards, running errands, letting the measurers/installers and carpet samplers finish up and leave, and now...here I am at my laptop in front of the window.

It is stark white in front where snow has smothered the lake, dark brown almost black where the island meets the horizon in tree branches, and a glowing pewter mixed with light gray and white with gold touches where the sun lowering itself in the western sky shines through.

Just for moment, the time for 3 birds to wing past my window, then a fourth, there is a calm peaceful feeling.

So this is how it must be, to let the landscape's silence enter, and fill up the cracks and crevices not already filled with busy thoughts and plans and desires. Let the cup fill up with emptiness, yes, the white empty snow.

Now the sky is growing darker, and the silver ball of sun pours out a stronger light.

may the light shine on you, may the inner light be discovered and may the light of love envelope you and yours over this holiday season,

musemother

Snow Day and Mother Daughter Hair Colour

Snow Day: not for the kids, but for me. Heavy snowfall yesterday, freezing rain overnight, and more thick fluffy flakes this morning means, stay at home. Cancel yoga (do some stretches on the rug in my room), a delivery was cancelled too, all smart people stay off the road today (those who can afford to - my husband made it to work, Caitie is at school).

There are days like this when the lake is whited-out, a hazy dark shoreline on the island across from us, a thin open patch of water greyish and closing in, the muffled sound of crows cawing in the big maple, a few workers on a saw below (oh yeah, the shingles are going up in back, slowly but surely).

I was going to say, there are days like this when I remember why we moved here. Believe me, I haven't had much time to look at the lake and enjoy a peaceful cup of coffee or read a book. Still finding boxes of DVD's and video games, or CD's that need unpacking, files that need filing (a huge pile of paid bills), and my closet is full of 'stuff' that I should have given away.

But this morning I am grateful for the snowy slow-down day. Grateful to find a few moments between phone calls and list making (I am an eternal list maker, but still disorganized), to look at the white expanse before me.

Christmas cards have not been sent, the Christmas rush has barely begun, we have a huge open house to show off our new place this Saturday, but today, just for today, and really, all I have is this moment, I am not going to panic, not going to rush left right and center. Just accept the moment, one heartbeat at a time.

I invite you to put aside the list for a moment, and look at your window. Is there a cardinal calling to you? is there a squirrel burying nuts? or is there a blank slate, a white board of fluff, for you to gaze at and relax for a minute.

enjoy the pre-holiday, pre-rush if you can.

musemother
ps I must write to you about discussions with my daughter about hair colour - she's 16 and already streaks her dirty blonde hair with darker brown and lighter highlights. Now she wants to go dark brown! and I say, too much money every 6 weeks, and too much hassle with roots showing and getting it done all the time. Vanity permits me to cover the gray, but why does a 16 year old have to change her colour?