Writing and your Creative Process

image from: www.wanderlust.co.uk/magazine/articles/

Someone asked me today what my creative process was like. Did I use a pen and paper, or type directly onto a computer? Did it really take me four years to publish The Tao of Turning Fifty? And that started a long conversation, in which the following tips came up. Some of them I am trying for the first time, like doing different kinds of writing at different times of day.

Make it special: I’ve moved my desk three times in the last year, and each time there was something ‘not right’ about the spot – view great, internet connection lousy, or no view, great desk and internet. Or Room is too cold! I need some sun and a warm sweater. So finding the right spot is important, in the quietest corner of your house preferably, or if you need noise and stimulation, find a busy cafe somewhere out of the house, but make it your “special” spot. It helps to create a routine.

Ritual: some of us don’t like to do the same thing twice, others like to perform little rituals of preparation. It could be as simple as lighting a candle or making a cup of hot Chai, but if you prime your subconscious mind that ‘this is how my writing time begins’ with an additional signal or ritual, it can help you get past the mind blocks your inner critic throws at you, like ‘now is not a good time, there’s all that laundry waiting’, or “now is never a good time, you suck at writing”. I may need to light some incense or play some 70’s music (David Bowie) to inspire me to write about my teen years, for instance. That’ll put me right back in my 16 year old bedroom with the turntable and my younger sister sharing a room...egads!

Treats: add a treat to the ritual! Don’t look at writing as a punishment, and crack the whip. Get out the licorice or dark chocolate. Give yourself a reward for getting your bum into the chair and doing it. Make it something not too distracting: vodka or rum may lead to relaxation, but you might not get very much writing done. Then again, whatever turns you on....

Writing schedule: this has never worked for me. Every year, I make resolutions, I rearrange my priorities, I skip yoga so I can write...today I decided that realistically, mornings are best for creative writing: Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings I will write for 90 minutes, in my journal, long hand. And in the afternoons, I will give myself another 90 minutes for ‘business’ writing on the computer: Facebook posting, quote gathering, promotional blurbs and blog writing. We’ll see if this works. My theory is that as I finish meditation at 8:30 a.m. or so, and  my journal is close by my bed, the morning time will be best for musing and creative writing. Then again, my kids are studying away from home, and once my husband leaves for work I have the house to myself. Choose a time that works for you. And one you will actually be able to do.

Know your self: this sounds obvious, but you need to be able to describe who you are, what you do, what your expertise or area of knowledge is, why you want to write this book – I am ....is a powerful beginning. Think of those 30 second elevator speeches that force you to summarize everything you know into a few short lines. You’ll need this on your book jacket.

Network with the people who love what you love: there are many more readers of books out there than you realize. Don’t get discouraged by all the books already published (I know the feeling, it hits me whenever I enter a bookstore). Join a writers club (www.shewrites.com for example), connect with other writers and you’ll learn tips, share experiences, and maybe find your audience (depending on whether you are a fitness instructor or a romantic novelist). MindBodyGreen http://www.mindbodygreen.com/  has published several articles of mine, and now I’m looking at TinyBuddha http://tinybuddha.com/ to find like-minded readers.

Hire a copy editor: if you are self-publishing, and want this to turn into a viable book, don’t just proofread and correct your own spelling. Hire an editor, a neutral third person whose only job is to see what is working (or not) in your syntax and punctuation. They will also be a good first reader in general. Get a few quotes and compare. I found a good one, in Canada, at http://www.editors.ca/hire/index.html.

These are just some of the things that help. If you have anything else that works for you, please feel free to share it with us!

Jennifer

or Women's Week!

“The woman’s journey

is to realize

her power is

within her.

As a woman.”

                                                           

                                                                                 Joseph Campbell, Pathways to Bliss



Celebrate Women's Week!  Enter the The Tao of Turning Fifty give-away on my Facebook site, with 3 great prizes – 

1) an autographed copy of The Tao of Turning Fifty plus my Musemother Relaxation CD 

2) a copy of the book 

3) a copy of the Musemother CD

Share this with your friends. I would LOVE to make it to 1000 likes on my Facebook page.

TO ENTER THE CONTEST (starts today) :  

http://gvwy.io/rm1eizq 




Namaste,
Jenn/Musemother
www.jenniferboire.com

Self-Care: What Small Daily Practice can you do?

“Most unhappy people need to learn just one lesson: how to see themselves through the lens of genuine compassion and treat themselves accordingly.” ~ Martha Beck

(from my March Newsletter)

Happy Lunar New Year,

Welcome to the gentle, dream-filled year of the Ram, symbol of o-operation, strength and determination. I am writing to you from the depths of winter here in Montreal, a still white landscape out my window. The land is sunny, most days, but caught in a polar freeze.

And I feel the need to confess something to you, who may look at me as a teacher, retreat leader or wise woman. It’s taken me a long time, but I have finally begun, at age 60, to intuit what my inner rhythm is. Especially since the empty nest years have arrived now, with more free time to be creative, volunteer my time, or just have tea with friends, it has been challenging to not be over busy. I love taking on too many projects, (I’m sure it makes me feel worthy and deserving). But lately, my body has been sending me messages of overwhelm and I have to listen.

The other day, on a teleconference about Self-Care, I heard three small words that shifted something in my inner world: small daily practices. The presenter was making self-care sound important, she was writing a PhD on the subject. I sat up and took notice. She acknowledged the challenges we face because our culture, our work and our schools don’t train us to respond to our need for feeling at ease. We are trained to look elsewhere, to treats or movies and vacations for contentment. The whole notion of tuning inwards takes practice.

While I have been practicing meditation and yoga for a long time, my daily work habits are more about running around in circles, needing to feel useful but often feeling pressured for time. Even the cat and dog take priority over my well-being! On top of that, I have some of the paradoxical characteristics of the creative personality. *

For instance, I can be wildly energetic, then crave quiet and rest; am both extroverted and introverted, needing social company and solitude in equal measure; both painfully self-doubting and wildly self-confident. “Despair alternates with bliss, despair when they aren’t working, and bliss when they are,” says Juliet Bruce.

Which means the energy vortex in my home is not always calm and flowing.
But in the words of Tami Kent, author of the book Wild Creative, there is a way to work creatively that honors inner flow. It may mean throwing out the list-making habit: “Rather than attempting to be creative in all areas at once, I follow the creative flow to the priority at hand. If I tried to make a list of everything I did, crossing off tasks in a linear manner, I would accomplish much less and with less creative insight. Instead, I live each day from the presence of my center and take direction from the guidance that arises naturally. …pausing and receiving guidance from within is the way to align with your creative channel. …Simply follow the flow.”

This was my aha moment this week, both Tami Kent and the Self-Care piece. I had had a crazy Monday, jumping up from meditation too fast to call someone who needed help making costumes– I was ready to throw away the Monday mini-retreat, that small practice that keeps me feeling grounded in my internal oasis. And in the process, I rode roughshod over my Creative Soul in panic. It turns out she had spent the night at the hospital with her daughter, and couldn’t use me until later in the week. So I thankfully returned to my journal and continued where I had left off. Inside my body, I could feel how off-kilter the rushing had made me. So this week, I decided that was the end. It does harm to my psyche as well as my body, to respond in panic to the adrenaline rush.

A lifetime of bad habits sometime overcomes our common sense or inner wisdom. I know that I want to make self-care and creative flow a habit, not just for the hour I sit to practice meditation, but at the computer, in my kitchen, and generally, all around. Small daily practices help me slow down and pause, checking-in to see how I feel and what is needed before dashing off in high gear.

I’m going to need help. I release the worry that other people may feel I am not responding quickly enough to their needs. I honour and pay attention to my own feelings. What small daily practice can you do?

One last thing: I am starting a give-away March 3 on my blog and Facebook site, with 3 great prizes – 1) an autographed copy of The Tao of Turning Fifty plus my Musemother Relaxation CD, 2) a copy of the book, and 3) a copy of the CD.

You can share this with your friends. I also want to make it to 1000 likes on my Facebook page.

TO ENTER THE CONTEST (starts TUESDAY MARCH 3) :  here is the link - http://gvwy.io/rm1eizq

Namaste,

Jennifer/Musemother
www.jenniferboire.com


*  http://expandedconsciousness.com/2015/02/17/10-paradoxical-traits-highly-creative-people/

MEDIA PRESS RELEASE JENNIFER BOIRE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Jennifer Boire, info@jenniferboire.com

Focusing on the transformative powers of menopause and changing the mindset of women who feel overwhelmed at mid-life.

Montreal, Quebec, Canada – March, 2014 –In The Tao of Turning Fifty: What Every Woman in Her Forties Needs to Know  author Jennifer Boire uses a light touch and gentle humour providing her brand of women’s wisdom on matters such as Where Did My Libido Go? Tango at Mid-Life, Feeling Like You’re Going Crazy, Menopause is Not a Disease, and How to Cultivate Your Own IGS System (inner guidance system).

This interactive workbook for women at mid-life is a must read for women in their forties to learn the blessings and challenges of menopause. It treats menopause as an awakening, a transformation on a woman’s journey with the focus on self-care through journal prompts, as well as exercises to calm and center.

Boire is passionate about the subject and says “The Tao of Turning Fifty grew out of research done for my blog, and interviews with women approaching or already past menopause. In my own experience, it felt momentous, like a psychic shift, or heroine’s quest, so much more than just hot flashes and low libido. I want every woman in her forties to know what is coming, to educate herself, to honour and prepare for this important rite of passage and mid-life transition that is menopause.”

Kirkus Reviews called the book “a pragmatic guide doubling as a workbook that examines how to find inner balance during a woman’s tumultuous midlife change. Boire masterfully encourages introspection and engagement in her book, which brings Eastern philosophy and Western lifestyles together to deliver what every woman in her forties needs to know.” They summed up their review referring to it as “an interactive workbook for women wanting to find harmony and understand the inevitability of life’s physiological changes.”

Boire begins a five day virtual book blog tour on Monday, March 10^th ending Friday, March 14^th, 2014 organized by Book Marketing Services, http://www.bookmarketingservices.org.

The Tao of Turning Fifty, What Every Woman in Her Forties Needs to Know by Jennifer Boire

Printed by Little Red Bird Press, 146 pages

ISBN: 978-1466378117

Paperback: CDN $12.30

Kindle Edition: CDN $9.99

The Tao of Turning Fifty, What Every Woman in Her Forties Needs to Know  is available online from Amazon.com, Amazon.ca,  Chapters Indigo and Barnes and Noble. For more information, visit http://jenniferboire.com/.

Contact: Jennifer Boire, info@jenniferboire.com

Turning 50, er 59

I used to be able to link the blog directly to Facebook notes, but somehow that stopped happening.

What I really am doing these days, besides resting in the sun? dancing in a Musical theatre show every night this week, and preparing for an interactive lecture at Beaconsfield Library, Tuesday Oct 1, 10 am.

And thinking about how wonderful my fifties have been.

There's a life coach somewhere who said we should keep track of our victories, especially when we feel a little down on ourselves for not accomplishing much. Looking back at my fifties so far, I can see a lot has happened.

My kids hit their teens, then grew up enough to leave home and attend University in 2 different cities.

My husband has joined three different bands, and I sing along in one of them.

I wrote a book, self-published it, and attended many workshops on how to promote and publicize in this age of social media. The Tao of Turning Fifty is popular with the women who attend my classes and retreats.

Am leading more and more weekend retreats for women, and day-long mini-retreats.

Learned how to SoulCollage(R) and became a facilitator, so I can share this intuitive and creative process of self-awareness with others.

Hired a web master and created a new website to share the books, CD, and classes.Took fab author photos (bartered with a student for a class).

Recorded Musemother Relaxation CD, at home, while looking at the lake.

Sang, recorded and helped produce Friends of Peace album in our home studio.

Began teaching Creative Journaling from my home, and now am calling it the Creative Circle.

Volunteered at the West Island Cancer Wellness Centre teaching journal writing for one year.

Organized a fundraiser Golf Benefit Tournament in Montreal 2012, with my husband, for TPRF and 60 Million Girls foundations.

Helped organize a Concert for Peace at the Hudson Music Festival summer 2013, fundraiser for TPRF.org and wrote an article about the successful (and unforgettable) musical event.

Recently enrolled in a year-long course (in French) to become a Facilitator of Rituals, with Ho Rites de Passage.

Performing with my quartet and in some group numbers, Still in the Mood, musical revue with Hudson Music Club at the Village Theatre. (a life-long dream!)

so there it is, only some of what I've done in my fifties, 

I feel better already!

Jennifer

aka Musemother

Courage to Take the Next Step

SoulCollage card, Underwater

Mid-life is a challenging time - it's not only about the menopausal hormones, the lack of sleep and hot flashes. The biggest wake-up call is from your heart, (or some say, your soul) calling you to find a sense of meaning and passion, your purpose in life.

I don't know why it hits us in our mid-forties to fifties. It may be because we have accomplished so much, the house, the job, the kids, the car, the dream vacations. You work hard to achieve "success", you raise a family, and then....you hit a brick wall, or you just feel tired all the time, or you get challenged by a divorce, a serious illness, or a loved one close to you passes on. You feel restless, dissatisfied, confused about your purpose, and you don't know why. The big questions start to come up: why am I here? what is all for? what do I really want to do with the rest of my life?

I look at it as a huge wake-up call from the heart - it's calling: Over here! Wake up! Emotions and feelings long-buried rise to the surface. Your goal of being Salesperson of the Year is not cutting it anymore. You want to run away from your life, where daily decisions overwhelm you, you aren't sleeping well, you're irritable and impatient and you don't recognize yourself. Then you see your mother or father's face in the mirror looking back at you, and it's scary! I'm 50 and what have I done with my life? You may look back in longing at the young person you were at 20, so idealistic, so passionate about making the world a better place, the young actress to be who became a secretary or an Administrator....and part of you feels like it's dying. Where did that youthful energy go?

It's still there, your heart and passion and enthusiasm for life, but it may be buried deeper down. You have to go spelunking in caves, you have to put on all your brave courage and excavate your heart's passion from underneath your sense of Duty, Obligation, Responsibility and whatever else tells you it's not practical to realize a dream.

In my book, The Tao of Turning Fifty, Amazon.com I offer an exercise called What Time is It in Your Life? You draw a clock on a blank page, and then draw the hands pointing towards the numbers of the time you feel it is - intuitively. Is it 8 am, the start of a new day? or is it noon - the middle of something? or perhaps it's 10:00 pm - time to put something to bed. Reflect on this, ask the question, dig, reflect, write, until you find the answer popping up from within.

Remember, whatever passions you had at age 11 or 15, the difference you wanted to make in the world, you are more than adequately prepared to do that now - you have more skills, more experience, and better resources. All you are lacking is the clarity and the courage - so dig deep and find it. Your Soul is Calling! the heaviness you feel is your Heart being buried. Uncover what makes your heart feel light and know that the journey into your depths may involve facing your grief, letting go of disappointments and sadness, facing feelings you haven't allowed yourself to feel.

The journey towards going Up and Out in the world begins often with going Down and In. Reclaim those feelings, uncover your heart, thaw out the frozen emotions, unpeel the armour around your heart and chest. Begin to un-numb, to tingle with excitement, as the blood starts moving again. Feel the cleansing tears that will come, and be reassured it means you are alive, you can find your Joy again.

It is worth doing this inner work. In my book I describe my own mid-life journey, and offer the Descent of Inanna as a metaphor or mythic story that gives a clue to the real work of rebirth and transformation that happens at mid-life, for those who have the courage to face the darkness inside of them. Don't be in a hurry. It will unfold in months or years, but you will resurface, with new shiny wings. Are you ready?

Here are 10 quotes to give you courage to take the next step:

It’s so easy to give up, or just never get started on making your dream project come true. If you need to feel that your Wise Inner Self is on your side rooting for you, here are some wonderful quotes to give you courage.

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth...not going all the way, and not starting. – Buddha

Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all. – Norman Vincent Peale

Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love. – Rumi

‎Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it. – Buddha 

It’s okay to ask questions, but get the answers. So, where are the answers? Since the questions came from within you, guess where the answers are? Within you. – Prem Rawat

What we perceive as a failure may simply be our inner being's way of telling us that we are ready to move to a new level of growth.  – Anne Wilson Schaef

What is your real work? Is it that which pays the bills or is it your art? I think your real work is healing. Whatever helps you become more loving in this lifetime. Whatever helps you forgive yourself, embrace yourself, meet yourself, and free yourself in this lifetime. – Tama Kieves  

If you can see your path laid out in front of you, step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path. – Joseph Campbell

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any. – Alice Walker:

The power is in you. The answer is in you. And you are the answer to all your searches: you are the goal. You are the answer. It's never outside. – Eckhart Tolle

Dear Past, thank you for the lessons. Dear Future, I'm Ready! – Quan Yin, on Facebook

Namaste,
Jennifer/Musemother

Jennifer Boire, author of The Tao of Turning Fifty, What Every Woman in Her Fifties Needs to Know, available at http://tinyurl.com/d9mtc26 blogs at Musemother, also on Facebook and Twitter. She leads Creative Journaling classes and retreats for women and loves to get comments. See www.jenniferboire.com

Taking Stock of 2012

The calendar is rolling around to the end of 2012, but we still have 12-12-12 to look forward to. What will you be doing on Dec 12, 2012 at 12:12? Maybe you’ll be sitting down with your journal looking back at the year’s highs and lows.

There’s a lot to be grateful for, isn’t there? For myself, in spite of having faced several huge challenges this year, it still feels like a very heart-full, healing year. Wouldn't that make a great journal exercise I thought, as I read a newsletter from a life coach who was celebrating her year with her business. Why not look back at January 2012, instead of forward at 2013, (not yet, not yet). How did the year start? If I go back and read my journal entries from that month, will I find my hopes and desires were fulfilled? Did I have a clear idea of what I wanted to explore and expand and bring into my life?

If you could make yourself a little ritual for the end of this year, sometime before the Christmas holidays get you ramped up and over-scheduled with baking, cooking, shopping and wrapping, it might just make your holiday season that much more gratifying, as you give thanks for everything that has come to you, all the projects you manifested, the actions you took, the rest you gave yourself, the time you allotted for self-care and finding balance in the mad rush of days…the love you shared with family and best friends.

Last year, my sister Sue, who does astrology charts, told me that my purpose was to learn how to nurture myself better, then to teach this to others. I found that in my journal from January 5, 2012. What a good reminder….must nurture self first, so I can walk my talk. I take a look back to see how I did this year…

In January, I was preparing to launch my book for women, The Tao of Turning Fifty. How could I forget those crazy months of proofreading and sending in corrections, waiting impatiently for the book to be ready to go to print so I could hold my book launch? Fifty lovely people came to the launch party at Enoteca Mozza in February. Within one hour of my Press Release, Mitsumi Takahashi from CTV had called to book a live TV interview (which ran in April). That was a good feeling! I had a few reviews and write-ups in local newspapers. Book sales are coming along, slowly but surely (about 200 sold online or directly through my classes, and speaking engagements).  On the way I’ve met lots of fascinating women, attended workshops on publicity, networked and blogged and twittered and Facebooked away the hours, connecting with menopausal women and women turning fifty. One more milestone on the recently revamped website – 100 subscribers to my newsletter!

I feel it’s time to thank you for all your encouragement and support in this, too. A writer without an audience is like a lone mountain climber calling his name into the canyons. She may get feedback, but not a sense of connection, which is really why I write.

In my forties, I had no idea what my fifties would look like. They have turned out to be the most creative years – something to do with kids growing up and leaving home, for sure. They were both away at school this year, one in Architecture, one in Interior Design. My daughter made it through Hurricane Sandy in October, and my son made it through a serious ATV accident in Greece earlier in July. In spite of having his jaw wired shut for 6 weeks, he was ready to get back to school in September, with not too many consequences. I was very close to my Vitamix blender all summer and back to motherhood 24/7. Time to practice what I teach about getting enough quiet time and rest. Looking back at 2012 has made me tired!

Lots more happened, of course. I filled up two ring-bound notebooks with pages of soul searching, questing and seeking for inspiration. Listen to your life calling was the name of 2012 journaling class. And it’s been calling me loud and clear. New classes in 2013 will be called The Creative Circle, as I welcome women into the circle of journaling and SoulCollage®.  I hope reading this blog will help encourage you to listen in to your life too.

Journaling is such a great, totally inexpensive, accessible way to find out who you are and what you want. As long as you have a pen and some paper, it’s the cheapest form of therapy I’ve found. In those pages, you learn how to be your own best companion, how to let the answers bubble up of their own accord, and how to tune into your inner guidance system, just by sitting and breathing, grounding and centering, then listening in for the gentle nudging and whispers from your soul… Here’s a short exercise for you to practice with:

What do I need today?

What do I want?

What am I grateful for? 

Three questions to set you on the road to wellness and self-knowledge.

Namaste,